Friday, February 18, 2011

The God Delusion Revisited - Again

- presented as part of "New Atheism: Just Another Dogma?" - Hegel Summer School, February 12, 2010

My mind seems to have become a kind of machine for grinding general laws out of large collections of fact. - Darwin

It is not the victory of science that distinguishes us, but the victory of scientific method over science. - Nietzsche

What may human apprehension bring to mind
But pity at the subdivision of
Existence into rules and miracles -
The one subduing godhead to the floor
The other drifting high defiantly?
- Peter Porter

*

All thought bears the mark of its time and thinking that doesn't at least try its hand at thinking about thinking - thinking that doesn't "think itself" to use an Hegelian phrase - bears the mark of its time unmistakably. The same is true, I want to argue today, of contemporary atheism and especially of its most famous tract, Richard Dawkins' The God Delusion.

How does the problem play out in contemporary atheism at large? In this presentation I will try to make the case that radical evangelical Christianity defines the contemporary atheist agenda in a way Dawkins and other New Atheists show few signs of being able to think through. In short my argument will be that the way New Atheists are locked in opposition to the latest, ugliest forms of Christian fundamentalism - the way they conflate what they dislike about contemporary fundamentalism with religion as a whole - limits the power and validity of their critique of religion.

However, the problem isn't merely the fights New Atheism tries to pick with religion. It is also, in a strong sense, a social problem. In the form of a movement, New Atheism has several of the characteristic marks of the consumerist society into which it thrusts its message of liberation from religion and, curiously, some of the marks of contemporary religious fundamentalism too. An interesting starting point, if we want to think about the movement's wider place in society, might be the rolling festival conditions that went by the name of the Darwin bi-centenary year (2009) – in which many of New Atheism’s most prominent standard-bearers again played a leading role. Here’s a snapshot of that year-long strangeness, as described by Stephen Shapin in the LRB:

“Darwin had an anniversary Facebook group dedicated to him: its goal was to have 200,000 unique Happy Birthdays posted by 12 February and a million ‘friends’ by the November anniversary of the Origin [of Species]. The group also planned a mass ‘Happy Birthday, Darwin’ sing-along, but I don’t think this actually happened. Then there were the Darwin-themed T-shirts, teddy bears, bobbleheads, tote bags, coffee mugs, fridge magnets, mouse mats, scatter cushions and pet bowls; the ‘Darwin loves you’ bumper stickers, the ‘Darwin Is My Homeboy’ badges, and the ‘I ♥ Darwinism’ thongs. The opening line of the year’s most substantial historical contribution, Adrian Desmond and James Moore’s Darwin’s Sacred Cause, is: ‘Global brands don’t come much bigger than Charles Darwin.’"

In short, like the Darwin Bicentenary, the trade-mark Atheism of Today has its kitsch, its in-jokes, its marketing drives, its mass conventions celebrating the life of Science, Reason and Truth. In the form of Australia's Catherine Deveney [link], it has its easy ironies and preferred obscenities. And in Richard Dawkins it has one of a number of vigorous superstars – an undoubtedly powerful mind shooting sparks that light up the night sky of the contemporary cultural landscape - not just with argument, but with ad campaigns, neon-lit help-lines for people trying to quit the church and, of course, popular intellectual products like the rollicking 400pp harangue I’m going to talk to you about today.

Though intended as a critique of all religion, The God Delusion turns out to be not much more than a tilt against contemporary religious fundamentalism, especially of the Christian variety. And today I want to try to get to the bottom of why that is the case. In part, it has to do with the opening chapters, where Dawkins merrily reduces all forms of religious belief to a rather dubious "God hypothesis" and then sets about aggressively disproving it. In part it comes down to the final three or four chapters, where the book turns into a catalogue of the vindictive nuttiness on display in small-town Christian America. In the middle we get a concerted and, as far as I can judge, successful attempt to use evolutionary biology to show that the intellectual centrepiece of modern fundamentalism, the theory of “Intelligent Design”, is an unnecessary and tendentious folly. And while the case against Intelligent Design shows us Richard Dawkins at his forensic, pop-scientific best, it still has a fairly narrow focus: the attempts by a small number of American fundamentalists to give their literal reading of the Bible a sliver of the scientific credibility it is plainly never going to have.

However, it’s Dawkins’ opening move in The God Delusion that I want to focus on to begin with. Within the space of 20 or so pages, Dawkins dismisses all ethical and allegorical reading of religious texts as unworthy of consideration in any real debate about God; like the animism of pre-historical peoples or the polytheism of the Greeks, liberal interpretations of religion don’t qualify as religion as such, and nor do the pantheism or the deism of America’s founding fathers (or indeed the deism of a certain C. Darwin). The sense of the numinous that many great scientists have felt – from Kepler through to Einstein and the late Stephen J Gould – doesn’t give Dawkins pause either, because it doesn’t come with a conception of a benevolent creator of the universe. In fact no form of belief that doesn't put its faith in an active personal supra-mundane God comes within the remit of the main argument of The God Delusion (though later in the book Dawkins will go on to suggest that, in promoting the idea that anything at all should be taken on faith, religious moderates are in effect “making the world safe for fundamentalism” and so amount to an almost equal blight on the face of the earth).

We already have a problem though. In fact we have several. The way Dawkins sets up his case suggests that “young earth creationism” has been at the core of Judeo-Christianity since the beginning, rather than being (what it clearly is) a vulnerable defensive structure hastily erected by militant latter-day Protestants who feel they've been pressed into a corner by powerful scientific modes of explaining the world. The wider problem though is that the further you get from the idea of a personal, supra-mundane God, the more you feel Richard Dawkins’ detested “God hypothesis” and his prosecution of the purveyors of a “God delusion” are simply irrelevant to the experiences of most religious folk past or present, East or West. Dawkins doesn’t seem to know much about Hinduism or Buddhism or Confucianism or, say, the vast intricate patchwork of Aboriginal Australian spirituality. But what's worse, he doesn’t know that he doesn’t know. About some strands of Christianity he has approximate first-hand experience, supplemented with some haphazard general reading and lots of horror stories from the American boondocks. But this passes over into more or less total ignorance when it comes to most other forms of religion belief. The result is that his claim to be making a case against all religion looks seriously inflated and his initial relegation of Indian and Chinese religion to the status of sub-religious “philosophies of life” a tad too convenient.

Religion, I’m arguing, is a target that is much more complex and protean than Dawkins would have us believe; because he brushes the complexity aside, he can hardly claim to be taking a fair – let alone scientific – view of the object of his analysis. Thus, for instance, Dawkins seems never to have heard of the social science of religion or any of its basic conceptual distinctions - which in any case only come into view once you get a cross-cultural picture of multiple religious traditions and their development down the ages. Thus, Buddhism (one certainly doesn’t hear in The God Delusion) was in its early days an explicitly atheist religion and its founder an exemplary rather than an emissary prophet, i.e. a figure who openly disavowed that he’d been sent by a supramundane god to change the way human beings led their lives. Confucianism too was largely agnostic - one of its founding propositions is that we should honour the gods and the demons (demons too apparently), but keep them at a distance.

What I’m suggesting is this: if informed scientific reflection is what you’re on about, there is no reason not to grant Buddhism or, say, Confucianism the status of fully-fledged religions. Both have certainly played roles in patterning culture and shaping lives in ways that are historically quite comparable to Christianity. Neither, however, sets up anything like the Christian dichotomy between a benevolent creator-God and his flawed creation. Thus, the first question Richard Dawkins has to squarely face is – how do so many widely different conceptions of God go missing in a book that is intended as a critique of all religion? However, it isn’t just the diversity of religious belief but crucially the diversity of ways of conceptualising religious belief that Dawkins refuses to take up into his argument; and as The God Delusion proceeds, it becomes clear why this is so. Religion has to be made to dissolve into a shapeless mass made up of the ugliest features of contemporary Christian fundamentalism because if religion is taken to be one basic thing that speaks to one basic set of human instincts, then it can be accounted for using the reductive Darwinian tools Dawkins has spent a life-time in sharpening. If in other words “the religion thing” is basically a single, well-defined phenomenon which can be explained ultimately, as we’ll go on to see, as a psychological by-product of our prehistoric genetic inheritance; and if the spread of religious beliefs within historical cultures can be accounted for as a sort of quasi-evolution - if religion has survived and thrived because of the self-replication of quasi-genetic religious "memes", as Dawkins wants to suggest – then perhaps the whole show can be knocked on the head by exposing the psychological by-products to the blowtorch of rational argument. Hopping out the blowtorch and giving a vigorous Darwinian flaming to the logical errors of the religious mind becomes the most promising strategy to inhibit religious self-reproduction in the metaphoric or not so metaphoric Darwinian playground that is the cultural life of humankind.

Admittedly, it's a strategy that has been tried before in various forms. Ever since the Enlightenment, thinkers inspired by science have invoked logic or empirical fact (or both) in their efforts to knock religion on the head. It's also true that Darwinism seems particularly well suited to the task; for there is no denying that it gives a convincing account of our evolution from less sophisticated life forms and in so doing seems to dispense with the Christian story of a Creator God, as well as the various assumptions about human beings moral/metaphysical specialness that are embedded in that story. However that again hardly means Darwinism can be used to take any non-empirical religious claim about the nature of the universe to task in exactly the same spirit.

If radical disbelief in all gods and all forms of religion is not an unavoidable consequence of any core Darwinian set of ideas, then how has Darwinism come to be used as an intellectual stick with which to administer a beating to contemporary religious believers of all persuasions? My two initial suggestions would be that neo-Darwinism functions as a sort of cultural defence-mechanism of its own - a defence, specifically, against the insane role that well-funded religious bigots play in the public life of that once great nation located south of the Canadian and north of the Mexican border. A second explanation would seem to lie in the specific ideological fervour of the Dawkins counter-lobby, for the notion that religion and science can co-exist, either in some sort of Enlightened attitude of respect or at least in mutual indifference, is anathema to Dawkins. Both he and his associates appear to detect an exasperating hostility to science in the presence of any sort of religion in society.  

What is going on with Dawkins himself is maybe a case of staring so long into an abyss that after a while the abyss itself starts to stare back into you. In confronting the whole issue of God, Dawkins, you might say, doesn’t realise that he has an abyss in front of him which is staring back up at him. Instead he carries on like a man who’s quivering with disbelief at a religious rubber chicken that the contemporary culture-world keeps on serving him in lieu of a proper intellectual meal. But sure enough, I think, the abyss is staring; the various ungodly screeches we hear from the author of The God Delusion are symptoms of a mind on the edge. In straight terms, you could say that for Dawkins “God” is a problem that simply has no depth. What “God” names for Dawkins is, in conventional Enlightenment terms, a series of dangerous but nonetheless demonstrable errors. In the absence of any methodological hesitation about how to treat God as an object of enquiry – likewise in the absence of any doubt about how to interpret the pronouncements of contemporary or historical religious believers – Dawkins assumes that the only way to come to grips with religion is to take God as a quasi-physical entity whose existence he ought to be able to verify using time-honoured scientific notions of cause and effect. If God existed then we’d be able to detect physical traces of his presence in the world, and then go on to make credible empirical claims about him, using the apparatus of scientific theory-building: this is the God hypothesis. Given that the most minimal claims about his physical presence in the world fall to the ground, then we're entitled to conclude that believers are suffering from a sort of mental disorder: this is the God delusion.

This brings me to some of the more complicated reasons why radical atheism has become yet another blunt weapon for fighting yet another modern-day culture war. Dawkins beloved scientific specialty, biology, is one of the last redoubts of totalising methodological reductionism in science and in this respect occupies an exceptional position within a scientific firmament that is a little less starry than it was not so many decades ago. Even physics, in the passage from its classical Newtonian phase to its post-classical quantum phase, has had to moderate some of its earlier ambitions, as research into sub-atomic particles has demanded ever more paradoxical interpretations of basic physical law – and as the goal of theoretically comprehending all phenomena in purely physical terms has proved more and more elusive. [1] No such intellectual modesty need trouble biologists. Since WW2 classical reductionist methodology has come into its own among the biological sciences - starting with the discovery of the basic mechanism of biological inheritance (DNA) in 1953 and culminating in the grand project to map the human genome in more recent times. Little wonder, then, that Dawkins is enthusiastic about busting God down to basics and showing those theists who’s who the old-fashioned scientific way. Little wonder too that the gleam of one of the Nineteenth Century's dream-projects – that of a scientific physiology of culture – shines brightly in his eyes.

Dawkins' case against religion re-capitulates the Enlightenment’s basic case – or one side of it – as if the blossoms of that great Eighteenth Century intellectual movement were still in first flower. The rough case was that belief in God is a product of psychological need, together with a certain willingness on the part of human beings to let themselves be cowed by priestly authority; that the Bible, far from being a work of ethical instruction or a storehouse of tradition, is an object of superstitious reverence that ought to be judged by the standards of demonstrative empirical truth. Dawkins' terms are somewhat different but point is still the same: the only way to read the Bible, and the various pronouncements of people who take their inspiration from it, are by the light of scientific reason, or in New Atheism's case, by the light of evolutionary science, with all its consciousness-raising power.

Dawkins, however, doesn’t seem to fully appreciate how much the world has changed between the Enlightenment and now. His inability to see himself and his intellectual hopes in critical historical perspective means that he doesn’t see that between AD 1800 and ACE 2010 science has essentially been victorious in its cultural struggle with religion – not quite in the sense that the illuminati of the Eighteenth Century might have hoped, but certainly in the sense that science, and science alone, nowadays defines what nature is; since the Enlightenment, the Church’s power to lay down a vision of nature as Divine Creation in the Western World has been in steady, some would say terminal, decline.

What’s more, the victory of science over religion has been bedded down as a dynamic social process of continuous revolution; decade by decade, almost week to week, science and technology work in concert to radically change the conditions of everyday life. This raises another complicated problem of social and historical meaning, one that Dawkins again overlooks because of the one-dimensional nature of his terms of engagement. Could it be that the very way the victory of science over religion has been bedded down has given people a bit of a need for old-style religion all over again? In vastly expanding our capacity to wage war, in giving us the means with which to consume the natural resources of our planet to vast excess and in subtly suggesting that every second field of human endeavour ought to be subject to rational criteria deriving from science and its offshoots, hasn't science been giving us things to worry about on an ever-larger scale? Of course the systematic pursuit of scientific knowledge is not directly to blame for the cultural and environmental destructiveness that recent human history have brought with them; and certainly no individual scientist need feel responsible for the wider destructive consequences of the techno-scientific revolution: the reliance on experts, the displacement of non-technical forms of knowledge, people's overwhelming sense of powerlessness in the face of the increasing systematic complexity of the modern world. If however discovering the sources of religious belief is your business, and critical self-reflection is part of the business plan, then a bit of attention to those sorts of broad facts about social modernity is indispensable. Science and its techno-industrial application has played a considerable part in creating a world in which people fall back rather gladly into the arms of religion - a fact that a self-reflexive scientific thinker ought to be alert to.

Before turning to the central claims of The God Delusion, let me do a little thinking on Dawkins' behalf on this score. If I had to account for the continuing attraction of religion in one paragraph or less, I wouldn’t point so much to the limits of scientific advancement, but to the fact that religions, including the Christian religion, have established themselves as a bit of a refuge against some of the forces in the world that have been advancing for a long time and have caused a lot of people severe anxiety in the process. - Much as you might get most people in countries like Australia to agree in questionnaires to the proposition that they "believe what science says" (whatever that means), our society just doesn't seem capable of acquainting large enough numbers of people with the complex bodies of bio-geo-physical fact that fly in the face of more literalist interpretations of the Bible; perhaps more significant still, as the years go by, it seems to get ever further away from giving everyone the opportunity to live without large-scale grief - precisely the sort of misery that religion can seem like a valid response to. On the other hand, there's probably a general perception that most religious folk take the notion of charity and social cohesion a little more seriously than most non-religious folk and much more seriously than they are taken by the dominant institution of the contemporary world - the market economy. Religion, in very broad terms, probably isn't going backwards because there's a bit of a sense that it functions as a counterweight to the at times pitiless spirit of commercialism governing the social systems by which we supply our ever-multiplying material needs. If religion isn't going backwards, I'd say, that has little to do with the way people continue to put themselves down by habit as "of Christian background" or say they believe in some sort of afterlife (which they strangely seem to do just as often as they say they believe in science); what it has to do with is the not unjustifiable perception that religion is a viable path of self-restraint in a world dominated by grossly excessive consumption. The fewer needs you have the happier you are, they say. Well, in the crack-brained rooting-tooting-cussing-gorging times we live in, when maxing out your credit card is something to group-text your friends about, and when your patriotic duty in an economic crisis is to get out there and shop, religion is seen as a powerful motivation to slough off superfluous needs and ignore various palpably insane social imperatives.

Of course, the fact that religion functions as a powerful motivator doesn’t give any particular set of religious ideas a claim to truth. However, it should come into careful consideration when we're thinking about the origins and continued existence of religion as a meaningful institution of human culture. And it’s precisely those two things – the origins and continued existence of religion as a meaningful institution of human culture – that Richard Dawkins, because of his inability to think thinking, can’t give any sort of nuanced scientific account of.

*

Even if you’re wary about having your consciousness raised by the good comrades of the biology faculty, the way Dawkins goes to town against the Intelligent Design idea in The God Delusion nonetheless conveys the simplicity and power of Darwinism and its methods. If it weren’t for the suggestion that the proponents of Intelligent Design are a pack of mendacious dunces, the middle stretch of Dawkins' book might almost be a popular-scientific tour de force [2].
It would be unfair not to review the one moment of the book that really does succeed in doing what it sets out to do - so here goes. Dawkins’ specific bone of contention in Chapter 4 of The God Delusion is what goes by the name of “irreducible complexity” – a term used by Intelligent Design theorists, including a small number with bona fides scientific credentials, to talk about complex biological traits whose origins are at first sight very hard to explain in terms of step-wise Darwinian “descent with modification”. (For those of you who haven’t read The God Delusion, you can intuitively grasp the problem by thinking, say, about animals' eyes or birds' wings. The theory of natural selection strongly suggests that numerous steps would’ve been involved in the evolution of such structures. But this raises a problem. Given that many of the steps would’ve conferred little or no adaptive advantage - given that they wouldn't seem to have helped prehistoric creatures survive any better and thus pass on their genes - how can such structures have evolved? Could their evolution be the work of a conscious being trying to intentionally create a certain sort of organ/ism, perhaps even a being that created them out of nothing in one hit?

The proponents of Intelligent Design, who obviously want to answer yes to the above question, seem to have lost the argument as far as eyes and wings go; as Dawkins points out, there are numerous types of eye of numerous degrees of complexity in existence in the animal kingdom – everything from flatworms’ crude devices for registering light-and-shade to the advanced visual equipment of eagles and eagle-eyed fighter pilots – and these suggest an evolutionary pathway – indeed numerous evolutionary pathways – that species might have traversed in the course of millennia in evolving what might look like irreducibly complicated biological structures. Though primitive eyes and wings clearly don't confer the adaptive advantages of more sophisticated eyes and wings, they nonetheless confer adaptive advantages of sorts.

Eyes and wings aside though, there are isolated examples of biological structures that defy easy explanation in evolutionary terms - and this is where the debate between Dawkins and the Intelligent Design crowd hots up. A particular favourite of hardline creationists is the flagellar propulsion of common bacteria (- seemingly an unfortunate little beastie for God to grace with signs of his creative intelligence, though let that pass).  The bacterium's equipment for moving about, Dawkins tells us in Chapter 4, is a prodigy of nature, driving “the only known example, outside human technology, of a freely rotating axle.” So the question is: how could a biological mechanism structurally resembling the outboard motor of a speedboat, needing a co-ordinated array of ten fixed and moving parts to perform any sort of useful function, have come into existence without outside help? I won't go into the detail. But let me say that Chapter 4 of The God Delusion contains the convincing answer. Part of the reason it’s convincing is that Dawkins writes with lavish enthusiasm, and considerable talent, about the sort of biological complexity which creationists like to think takes us right up to the threshold of divine creation as a physical act. When he isn’t busy wishing his adversaries to oblivion, Dawkins is at his best. As long as he sticks to explaining the way things around us work from an evolutionary point of view, he’s the ideal high school science teacher - the one who doesn’t mumble his explanations into his beard.

Having successfully prosecuted the case against Intelligent Design - Dawkins moves on to explaining where he thinks religion comes from. If human beings’ sense of God isn’t actually God-given, then it still needs to find its way into the world somehow and Dawkins rightly thinks he needs to tell us how. This is the point at which the theory of natural selection does double service; Chapter 5 of the The God Delusion puts together the ideas of sympathetic biologists and philosophers into an overarching theory of the evolutionary origins of religion itself.

To begin with, we get the basic theoretical model – what Dawkins calls the scientific by-product theory, which considers religion - again on the presupposition that it is a single, well-defined phenomenon with an identifiable essence – as a sort of spin-off of other human capacities with primary adaptive functions such as fear, pain, language-use and consciousness. It's a simple, effective idea which again Dawkins explains well. Fear, pain, language-use and consciousness all helped our pre-historic ancestors to survive down the generations, so the genetic material that provided the physiological building blocks for them tended to be passed on. However over time they also came together to form an unusual amalgam - religion - which picks up on our terror in the face of the natural environment, our propensity to avoid pain, as well as our awareness of ourselves as agents and our ability to do things with words, and brings them together to form a set of delusional ideas which also get passed on, quasi-instinctively, from generation to generation.

Over-writing the psychological by-product theory is a different thesis, also with its roots in recent evolutionary psychology - the idea that religion might be a more specific - presumably in evolutionary terms a much later - psychological by-product, this time of the suggestibility of children; as Dawkins chooses to put it, religion might be a kind of side-effect of the way children’s brains can be “programmed”. - Simplifying a little, the idea is that religion evolved because it conferred a selective advantage on groups of early human beings whose offspring took on face value what their parents told them – not just about not straying too far from the pack, but also, say, about mysterious spirit worlds as well. The tight control hominid parents exercised over their offspring promoted primitive social cohesion and primitive social cohesion promoted survival. Because primitive ideas about other-worldly matters were part of the control process, they too continued to be passed on down the generations. QED.   

Next comes an ingenious suggestion from Dawkins’ friend Daniel Dennett – that religion could be a sort of over-development of a certain type of pragmatic life-stance which early humans may have adopted in order to survive in hostile environments with the help of their burgeoning brain capacities. Dennett calls it the intentional stance and contrasts it with a so-called design stance and a physical stance. When we adopt the intentional stance, we view things in the world around us as if they were endowed with something like human agency (i.e. intentions), which in the case of primitive religion might mean attributing agency, for instance, to rocks and trees and places, to the dead or to the world as a whole. On this picture, religion gets started, and continues to thrive, because it reflects, or perhaps even heightens, the (scientifically false but biologically useful) idea that all sorts of things in the world around us can intentionally harm us. Showing caution in the face of things with harmful intentions, or indeed a certain amount of measured aggression towards them, is a good way of surviving and thus of passing on your genes.  

Or could our seemingly ingrained capacity for religious belief even be a side-effect of the human capacity for love? At last, it looks as if Dawkins might be about to tell us how the human hankering for religion is culturally patterned. Love, either in the form of eros or agape, seems capable of being made to flow into so many different channels, sublimated, transferred, turned against itself - stereotyped and psychologically patterned in ways that are surely not irrelevant to the genesis of religious belief.  For Dawkins though, the only conclusion sanctioned by the work of hard science is that there is potentially a hefty “survival bonus” to be gained from some forms of irrational emotional attachment to higher powers. Believing that you or your tribe are uniquely blessed with the gods' favour or uniquely tasked with showing love and devotion to them would appear to provide a very strong motivation to survive and strive. (Though the simpler term for the sort of self-love that accrues to people who believe they have special connections to higher powers would be narcissism, the opportunity to take a more psychological approach to his problem here is something Dawkins passes up. Again, he misses an opportunity to add a handy extra dimension to this case.)    

As suggestive as each of these part-theories are though, by this stage they do seem to have multiplied a little worryingly. Unlike the relatively well-defined problem how the bacterium evolved its ten-dimensional outboard motor, each sends Dawkins off down a different speculative pathway. And as Chapter 5 of The God Delusion moves from a relatively exacting functional account of the evolution of wings, eyes and bacterial flagella to a rather less exacting functional account of religion, it falls into a habit much on display in evolutionary psychology – that of vaguely affirming that some aspect of the human mind or human behaviour (in this case religious belief) exists because it may well have been useful, and putting all questions of details and proof to one side.

Or, to put the point more sharply – the arguments about the origins of religion offered by Dawkins in a way seem almost as speculative as a lot of theological views about the nature and operation of the Christian godhead. In neither case are the core issues open to direct empirical investigation, as they are in the case of eyes or flagella; unfortunately for Dawkins, rigorously running the film of evolutionary development backwards using the differential equations of mathematical genetics, as biologists are often able to do in order to recover past gene pools, is not even remotely possible. It would need to be to specify the unique set of conditions under which primitive religion might have developed.

The evolutionary account of religion offered in Chapter 5 of Dawkins’ book tells us that prehistoric religion could have enhanced the survival chances of primitive human beings – that religion can be looked at as a misfiring of animal instinct in a creature with a brain of a particular size, possessing language and faced with certain natural hazards. But the step from potent suggestion to rigorous theory, which involves showing how primitive religion worked at the molecular or mechanical level of explanation, is enormous and the difficulties involved in retracing the links in the causal chain (as opposed to pointing approximately to widely spaced segments of the chain) shouldn't be fudged. In short, there is no reason to think on the basis of what Dawkins gives us in The God Delusion that he or any of his colleagues in evolutionary psychology have retraced the links using anything but a series of loose analogies - metaphors which point with a certain anti-poetic poetry firstly at the brain as a “collection of organs (or ‘modules’) for dealing with a set of specialist data-processing needs” and secondly at religion as a quasi-adaptation of that brain to a rough set of environmental challenges.

Atop the dizzingly high structure of semi-conceptual, semi-metaphoric explanations, Dawkins places another analogical thought-figure: the meme. In fact, he hastily whips up a “memetic” theory of religion: where straight, old-fashioned Darwinian natural selection explains how the brain develops what he calls a “hardware platform” for running delusionary religious programs, it’s "memetic" natural selection that supplies “low-level system software”. Once we've understood the "systems software", an over-arching theory of "memetic natural selection" promises to explain which religious ideas (i.e. delusions) went on to survive and proliferate. Religion, in fact, looks as if it can be explained away without much reference to its specific content at all.

The general drift of this additional bit of theory will be clear to anyone who has followed debates about memes down the decades. (Dawkins himself coined the notion in the 1970’s [3]). Memes in essence are the basic unit of natural selection in cultural matters, in the same way genes are the basic unit of natural selection at the level of long-term biological descent with modification. [4] As with genes in a gene pool, the religious memes that prevail in the quasi-organic environment of human culture will be the ones that provide their human hosts with advantages in competitive cultural environments and are hence good at getting themselves copied. Dawkins is quick to add that the analogy between meme theory and gene theory is only partial, for religious ideas, unlike genes, do undeniably bear some marks of intelligent design. The way religious memes come into existence and spread is, at least partly, attributable to the conscious intentions of their creators; so having, say, an intelligent perception of what is likely to speak to the minds of religiously needy multitudes might, in this case, be working alongside the otherwise impersonal memetic mechanisms of cultural variation, mutation, competition and inheritance to further the survival of this or that meme.

Dawkins goes to some lengths to defend the notion of memetic selection against its detractors among his fellow biologists. One of the main criticisms from scientists who don't subscribe to Dawkins’ reductionist agenda has tended to be that in the cultural realm there's no memetic code-script analogous to DNA to ensure exact replication as memes are passed from one generation of religious believers to the next. Dawkins believes he has the objection covered; on his theory, mechanically exact reproduction of memes is not required for the successful transmission of cultural representations like religious beliefs from one brain to the next. However, the main challenge to the memetic theory of religion, which comes from outside biology, goes unanswered; it's that Dawkins' abstract genetic view of religion, based as it is on a theory of memetic culture-molecules, just doesn’t have enough to say about the way religions act as causes within culture to explain any of the basic facts of religious development. What enables particular sets of religious ideas to flourish? How do different religions measure off against each other? How do they die out? In a sense this is the exact point of his argument where Dawkins mistakes the abyss for the rubber-chicken – Dawkins thinks he doesn't need to take into scientific account the specifically human character of the religious phenomena he purports to be studying – the way religious beliefs shape people, groups, institutions and whole societies and interact with other dimensions of culture like art and politics. It's also the point where it becomes clear just how gravely he fails to appreciate the difference between the concrete specificity required to give proper causal accounts of socially complex phenomena and the abstract universality of the general laws of natural science; while it's the latter type of general laws he wants to develop using the notion of memes, it's the concrete specificity characteristic of social science that he would need to give his account any real explanatory power. The result in practical terms is that in Chapter 5 and 6 readers of The God Delusion are presented with a fairly flat story which doesn’t begin to explain how the specific content of different religious beliefs or the meaningful relations they establish make a difference to the history of humanity as a religiously inflected ebb and flow. Anyone with a reasonable grasp of the history of religion or the history of culture  is unlikely to be satisfied with these crucial, non-polemical moments of the book. What they seem to be presenting are a series of just-so stories which don't become any more credible (or any more scientific) because they take the theory of natural selection as their point of departure.

The point is not that Dawkins' account of religion in terms of memetic culture-molecules is in any straightforward sense wrong, it just doesn't have very much to say causally speaking. All in all, Dawkins seems to be motivated by a naive faith that any proper scientific explanation of religion would reproduce the very pattern of Darwinism's successes in explaining genetic inheritance and change. [5] The methodological reflex that has him in its grip is the assumption that Darwinism provides not just one paradigmatic example of good scientific explanation, but the one true model of any good scientific explanation.

And in case that sounds like it rules out taking religion in anything but its own terms, it is important to be clear here - it is quite possible to think that the theory of natural selection accounts for some of the pre-conditions of religious belief - in a speculative spirit, but no less powerfully for that. My argument is that religious belief can only be accounted for in the full sense with the help of a broad multi-causal picture that draws on various explanatory patterns, not just on the possibilities suggested by evolutionary science; understanding the events of cultural history depends, in particular, on understanding the way the meanings and values that human beings attribute to events play a vital role in causally determining what happens. Indeed, meaning and value play such a vital role that any explanation of the events of cultural history which ignores them is bound to be a deficient explanation.

To use an over-used term that in this case happens to be entirely appropriate - any explanation of the origins of religion that bypasses the level of meaning and value is bound to be reductive. Dawkins’ problem is that he is looking for one type of cause where only multiple, partially efficacious types of causation will do. That dooms the middle portion of The God Delusion to partiality and narrowness. And in a way explains the clown-show that the book degenerates into towards the end.

*

Chapter 7 is about the point at which The God Delusion moves from mildly informative boosting of scientific theory to chaotic atheist screed. The catalogue of Biblical nastiness begins in earnest, as do the front-line stories of gun-toting, gay-bashing, white-supremicist religious crazies, whom Dawkins clearly takes to be quite characteristic of Religion On The Whole. The rhetorical piece de resistance has already come at the top of Chapter 2:

"The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully."

Chapters 7 and 8 then proceed to re-tell the horror stories unleashed by this Brett Easton Ellis figure at greater length – doing so at times in a breathless frat party tone of gleeful sarcasm. Anyone (male) who went through school Religious Education and puberty together will probably recall the excitement of flipping discovering the book of the Bible  called "Song of Songs" and having himself a grand time with all the curves and cleavage. Dawkins, in a similar vein, comes out with this sort of jibe about The Ten Commandments:

"To my naïve eyes, “Thou shalt have no other gods but me” would seem an easy enough commandment to keep: a doddle, one might think, compared with “Thou shalt not covet they neighbour’s wife”. Or her ass. (Or her ox.) Yet throughout the Old Testament, with the same predictable regularity as in bedroom farce, God had only to turn his back for a moment and the Children of Israel would be off and at it with Baal, or some trollop of a graven image. . ."

What a wag Richard is.

But what a nag too. By this stage of The God Delusion Dawkins' preferred debating strategy is to translate the basic terms of Biblical narrative into contemporary idiom and use the latter as an offensive weapon. Biblical Canaan becomes a proto-National Socialist form of Lebensraum. The brutalities of battle detailed in the Book of Joshua become crimes against humanity, while punishments inflicted for breaches of Levitical ethical code in the surrounding Biblical text turn into scenes from commercial tv news; they start Dawkins huffing and puffing like Andrew Bolt:

"What shocks me today about such stories is not that they really happened. They probably didn’t. What makes my jaw drop is that people today should base their lives on such an appalling role model as Yahwe – and, even worse, that they should bossily try to force the same evil monster (whether fact or fiction) on the rest of us."

On the question of “role models”, Dawkins seems plainly to be in the grip of a category error – indeed one he shares with the worst of the fundamentalists. In short, it ought to be obvious to anyone (anyone capable of taking the Bible non-literally as a composite construction with numerous textual strata) that the horror stories in the Old Testament belong to a mythologised history; the tales of Abraham’s chequered progress in the Book of Genesis are not intended to preach morality in any simple sense and if Dawkins had been prepared to think about his topic with moderate scientific sophistication then he wouldn't take fundamentalist interpretations of the Old Testament as the only obvious way to read the Bible. Similarly, the way Dawkins plays up the vengeful, puritanical character of Yahwe ignores two things scholars of the Bible have known for a long time: (a) that the Old Testament contains multiple partially indicated conceptions of the nature of the Biblical God and his relationship to human beings and (b) that these partial conceptions enter into complex combination, at times even into opposition to each other, at various points in the text. Simplifying considerably, we can point to two poles between which the Yahwe conception of the Old Testament moves: on the one hand, there's the historically ancient conception of the warrior God with the changeable heart who is something like the God of the Israelite tribal confederacy and not dissimilar to the object of Dawkins’ scorn [5]; on the other, there's the prophets’ God of holy purity, who is much closer to being a principled ethical God of the entire universe. To point out that the Old Testament can be read as the historical document of both these conceptions of God as well as numerous intermediate conceptions ought to be superfluous in the context of an informed scientific argument about Biblical religion. Dawkins is only interested in the first conception because it’s all he needs to grind his own axe.

To readers coming to Dawkins’ work for the first time, it must surely seem strange that the author of the The God Delusion has acquired a reputation as an intelligent scientific populariser. What comes to the fore from about the half-way point of the book is a furious adversarialism, combined with a certain sort of clichéd moralising of a vaguely left-wing variety that sounds as if it might veer hard-right at any moment. The contradictory nature of New Atheism is on display in spades – above all the whole soapy, uplifting tone, which sits uncomfortably with the blazing polemics and compulsive irreligiosity. At the 300p mark Dawkins launches into a serious argument that bringing up children in any religious tradition whatsoever is a form of child abuse - a deliberately overblown he backs up with the tale of a Jewish-Italian baby secretly baptized by a Catholic maid then removed from the family home with the connivance of the Vatican a few years later. Yet, as wretched as the story sounds, you still feel Dawkins' primary aim in re-telling it is to score points against the God-bothering enemy. No sooner has he tabled the case of little Edgardo than he's reading out a charge-sheet detailing the intellectual and emotional criminality of all forms of religious baptism. It turns out to be a very long charge-sheet indeed. Once he’s done with the indictment, he immediately foregrounds himself and his own sense of moral pathos:

"As for me, I think only of poor little Edgardo – unwittingly born into a world dominated by the religious mind, hapless in the crossfire, all but orphaned in an act of well-meaning but, to a young child, shattering cruelty."

By this stage, Dawkins is well and truly in the land of tabloid opinion pieces, tritely bandying about details of abuses and outrages - raging at the polemical enemy without noticing that in doing so he’s jumping up and down on victims’ graves. Poor little Edgardo, destined to be a religio-political football of future centuries! Doubly poor Richard Dawkins, compelled to boil and re-boil the meaty religious scepticism of the Enlightenment until it is ready to be snap-frozen and distributed to the spiritual supermarkets of the entire world! Infinitely poor world, trapped in the nightmare of its ever-burgeoning op-ed piece of an existence!

Or take this passage from Dawkins’ flat irritable onslaught against Nigel McQuoid – the brain ("brain"?!?) behind the teaching of creation science in fundamentalist outliers of the British education system:

"The level of McQuoid’s scientific understanding can be judged from his belief that the world is less than ten thousand years old, and also from the following quotation: ‘But to think that we just evolved from a bang, that we used to be monkeys, that seems unbelievable when you look at the complexity of the human body. . . If you tell children there is no purpose in life – that they are just a chemical mutation – that doesn’t build self-esteem.’. . . No scientist has ever suggested that a child is a “chemical mutation”. The use of the phrase in such a context is illiterate nonsense, on a par with the declarations of “Bishop” Wayne Malcolm, leader of the Christian Life City church in Hackney, east London, who, according to the Guardian of 18 April 2006, 'disputes the scientific evidence for evolution'. Malcolm’s understanding of the evidence he disputes can be gauged from his statement that 'There is clearly an absence of . . . in the fossil record for intermediate levels of development. If a frog turned into a monkey, shouldn’t you have lots of fronkies?'"

And there it is – Richard Dawkins’ specific lack of intellectual poise in a nutshell: he just can’t help trying to refute every nutter in sight and, what’s worse, doing so in a horrible snippy tone as if to say “Look at these people. They don’t even understand basic logical syllogisms. . .” In every sentence of these later chapters of The God Delusion you can virtually feel Dawkins wincing with mental acuity – or wincing at his opponents’ lack of it. In none of them does he display the most basic of the intellectual virtues which would help turn his dispute with the faithful into something more than a nasty boring pillow-fight: the ability to imagine the best version of his opponents' view of the world. Having watched Dawkins pursue the weirdly named McQuoid into half a dozen argumentative potholes in as many paragraphs, you half expect Dawkins to try refuting him on the subject of fronkies too. . .

What the later chapters of Dawkins’ book set the terms for in short is an ideological debate – a dispute the main parties to which can never admit any of the flaws in their own positions. As with all ideological debates, the fight is everything, coming across effectively is the criterion of all speech, baiting the enemy and enjoying those warm gusts of sympathy from supporters are major preoccupations, as is the ever-fresh possibility of public support for your windy rhetorical stances. And so it is that New Atheism is to be found widely imitating the tactics of its adversaries - whose missionary activities, above all in the US, have taken up all the trashy techniques of commercial self-promotion that contemporary American society can think up – from graveyard tv spots to professional lobbying to multi-million dollar spirals of vexatious litigation. So it is that Dawkins’ book has emerged as the manifesto of one of those strange quasi-social movements that make use of all the paramilitary equipment of peace-time war supplied by modern advertising: flip through to the end of The God Delusion and you’ll find the help-lines, flip through to the lifestyle section of your local broadsheet and you might well find a full-page ad or a full-page interview.

Of course, the most prosaic feature of all ideological debate is that, if you’re not actively barracking for either side then – everyone who is seems as bad as everyone else. In this case, the way science in its evangelical Darwinian guise takes the form of commercial publicity seems almost as dubious as the way religion in its creationist guise tries to take on the form of science.

And the resemblances don't just end there. Like his adversaries, who reject the general  climate of liberal permissiveness they take to define contemporary society, Dawkins takes himself to be a renegade against contemporary society, with its all too indulgent attitude to religious delusion. Like them too, his obsessive mentality condemns him to live in a sort of eternal present that is the human reality of total warfare.

The ways of ideology are indeed strange. And what they illustrate most clearly of all in the Dawkins case is how two parties to a controversy can believe in pretty much opposite things, but in a strangely similar mode, leaving everyone else wanting to run for the hills.

*

To get the whole controversy in perspective, it’s useful to remind yourself of some of the different arguments that have emerged in the history of atheism – whose long history is itself something of a counterbalance to the impression given in The God Delusion that the arguments between Christianity and its opponents have never amounted to much more than a nasty boring pillow fight. The most important thing to remember here is that anti-religious scepticism has been present in most developed cultures in history. And I want to finish up today's presentation by going through what I think are some of its more memorable moments.

One of the oldest recorded examples of anti-religious scepticism is Archilochaus the pre-Socratic Greek philosopher, about whom all we know is that he found the Homeric gods “funny” and set about trying to improve on the myths that told of their various doings. A later Greek philosopher, Xenophanes, put his case more analytically: non-Greeks imagine the gods in their own non-Greek image, and if horses had gods then they would almost certainly look like a species of super-horse; gods which in any way resemble their human worshippers are more likely to be a reflection of their human worshippers' image of themselves rather than a true manifestation of any sort of transcendent reality.

Several centuries before Christianity had even begun, Epicurus (341 - 270 BC), had already formulated this magnificently spare critique of its maximal conception of a good, all-powerful God:

Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?
Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing?
Then he is not good.
Is he both able and willing?
Then where does evil come from?
Is he neither able not willing?
Then why call him God? 

Or, skipping forward in time, it's hard to go past Kant, the giant of the Enlightenment who provided the decisive refutation of the ontological argument for the existence of God. The ontological argument in a nutshell says that God by definition must possess all the perfections; that reality is a rather important perfection; that therefore God must be real: God exists; the Kantian answer to which is that “existence is not a predicate" - existence is wrongly conceived of in the ontological argument as another attribute (or “predicate”) of God comparable, say, to His omnipotence.

Things get more complicated the further you get into Kant's monumental Critique of Pure Reason. Along with the notions of immortality and the soul, the concept of God turns out for Kant to be antinomian in nature - a necessary illusion of a human faculty that less subtle atheists would hardly have expected Him to derive from: the faculty of reason itself. God if you like for Kant is the maximum point of our attempts to explain the world. He is not real in the sense of being an "object of possible experience", He is something that human reason posits as a sort of total condition of the possibility of all experience, the original cause and ongoing support of the world. Far from being a mere remnant of medieval superstition, or a side-effect of primary genetic adaptions, God is a too rational assumption; critical reason (Kant's favourite type of Reason) tries to set limits to this predictable extravagance of our rational minds, not wipe it from the face of the earth.

Or, alternatively, we could return to Nietzsche - whose views about Christianity are just as strong as Dawkins' and whose writings also involve a certain amount of rhetorical overkill, though of a rather grander variety than what we get in The God Delusion:

"That, as an “immortal soul”, everybody is equal to everybody else, that in the totality of beings the “salvation” of every single one is permitted to claim to be of everlasting moment, that little bigots and three-quarters madmen are permitted to imagine that for their sakes the laws of nature are continually being broken – such a raising of every sort of egoism to infinity, to impudence, cannot be branded with sufficient contempt." [6]

It’s worth noting that, as explosive as Nietzsche’s anti-Christianity can be, passages like the one I've just quoted come in the middle of an historically informed argument about Christianity and its origins: Nietzsche’s thesis in The Anti-Christ (1888) is that what came to be called Christianity was the result of a radical re-interpretation of Jesus’ sense that active love must be the full criterion of religious piety; on the Nietzschean picture, Jesus' vision of love was misused by St Paul in the fabrication of a theological faith in Christ as the resurrected Son of God. Jesus in no way claims to be the Son of God or demands that others worship him; Paul, on Nietzsche's picture, makes exactly that claim on Jesus's behalf and in doing so practically inverts the demand the historical Jesus may indeed have made on his fellow human beings: to practice charity and show mercy to everyone, irrespective of their colour or creed. 

The details of Nietzsche's anti-Christianity to one side though: the reason Nietzsche is the sort of thinker that neither theists nor atheists can really get around is because, for all his withering attack-pieces, he is just as willing to think against atheism as he is to think against each and every religious interpretation of the world. This isn’t only because he can see into the abysmal depths of the God-problem, nor just because he has a way of compressing the cultural, historical and very live emotional aspects of religious belief into an impassioned series of philosophical reflections. Nor is it because he refuses, unlike Dawkins, to collapse his discussion into a series of debater-ish pros and contras. Rather, it is because the anxieties he has about the consequences of the loss of religion are precisely as strong as his conviction that that loss is inevitable. Nietzsche, in other words, sees the tragedy that any large-scale loss of religious feeling involves and in the case of Christianity he lives that tragedy out in the text of his own philosophy. The theme of so much of his later thought is the tragedy of a general cultural loss of pathos that follows from a widespread loss of belief – a tragedy that is likely to leave the average denizen of the post-religious culture-world neither a troglodytic fundamentalist nor an embittered anti-fundamentalist but an insipid hedonist conformist – one of the “last men” Nietzsche pictures hopping around in a semi-satisfied daze, immune to any of life’s deeper problems, be they religious or scientific or philosophical.

Like Dawkins, Nietzsche thinks that Darwinism is true, but he doesn’t think of it as therefore worthy of evangelical proclamation. Nietzsche thinks Darwinism is (as he put it) true but deadly – deadly, namely, to at least one major sense of the seriousness of life; Christianity in particular, Nietzsche sees, has encouraged human beings to think of life as a moral-metaphysical drama, but with the playscript gone temporal trivia threatens to rob of our old sense that life has any substantial purpose. Above all though, Nietzsche is not subject to the confusion of taking the God of the Christian Bible as an hypothesis, let alone a scientifically testable hypothesis; he considers it, in my view rightly, as an interpretative posit [7] – an existential presupposition that cannot be evaluated according to any absolute scientific measure - a presupposition, moreover, that possesses a meaning-giving function that is never entirely separate from its truth-content and has many positive points of connection with the scientific mode of interpreting the world.

In Nietzsche’s philosophy Kant's critique of religious concepts is renewed, but at the same time given a paradoxical and enriching turn – with a sort of counter-critique of scientific triumphalism added into the mix of the critique.

For all his anti-Christianity, Nietzsche sees that science and religion generate forms of knowledge-and-experience that don’t bear easy comparison. Science starts out from the idea that the world is at bottom nothing but a causal mechanism. Religion, on the other hand, gives us the idea that the world is a God-ordained and hence somehow a meaningfully and ethically-oriented cosmos [8]. Science doesn’t flinch at the idea that there are no mysteries, or at least no mysteries that can’t be dispelled; religion on the other hand endows the idea that human beings have limits with an ethical significance and sees responsiveness to those limits – to human finitude, to the mysterious and to the ineffable - as the touchstones of human wisdom (in their own ways, art and philosophy do so too). Richard Dawkins’ disservice to atheism is his uncritical advocacy of the narrow scientific view –that and his inability to see that the waning of religion in the West is an historically largely accomplished fact, the prime consequence of which is what has been aptly described as the disenchantment of the world.

If it’s true that history has a tendency to repeat itself first as tragedy, then as farce, then the tragedy of Enlightenment enacted in the work of Nietzsche has its farcical epilogue in Dawkins’ attempts to relegate all religion to the trashcan of anti-Darwinian superstition. However, if we’re looking for an alternative to both those positions and neither the embarrassing irrationality of creationism nor the conditional devotion of a purely ethical Christianity will do, then it is worth remembering what the world looked like before the tragedy of Enlightenment began. The last word in my presentation today goes to G.C. Lichtenberg, an Eighteenth Century professor of physics who was the subtle exponent of a scientific-yet-personal view of religion that is neither riven with tragic pathos, like Nietzsche, nor prone to bathos, like Dawkins:

"Religion is really the art of acquiring for oneself comfort and courage in affliction, and the strength to work against it, through thoughts of God and by no other means. I have known people to whom their good fortune was their God. They believed in their good fortune and their belief gave them courage. Courage gave them good fortune and good fortune gave them courage. It is a great loss for a man if he loses his faith in a wise being who directs the world. I believe this is an inevitable consequence of all study of philosophy and of nature. One does not lose belief in a God, to be sure, but it is no longer the benevolent God of our childhood; it is a being whose ways are not our ways and whose thoughts are not our thoughts, and this is not especially helpful to the helpless." 

There you have it – a sort of moonlit Enlightenment view of religion which knows the necessity of the loss of faith and which takes into account both the intellectual tenuousness of a belief in a good active god and the positive emotional circularity of such belief – that efficacious loop whereby belief in God brings the world into a sort of God-given motion. 

Last but not least it is this subtle, sympathetic view of religion that New Atheism excludes by taking on Richard Dawkins' ill-considered tone of self-righteous fury: the view of a scientist who is nothing less than a philosopher and nothing more than a human being, who speaks softly and without calumny of the religious viewpoint his science has compelled him to leave behind.


Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Ambrose Bierce: from the Devil's Dictionary (K - Z)

kilt - a costume sometimes worn by Scotchmen in America and Americans in Scotland.

Krishna - a form under which the pretended god Vishnu became incarnate. A very likely story.

lap - one of the most important organs of the female system - an admirable provision of nature for the repose of infancy, but chiefly useful in rural festivities to support plates of cold chicken and heads of adult males. The male of our species has a rudimentary lap, imperfectly developed and in no way contributing to the animal's substantial welfare.

last - a shoemaker's implement, named by a frowning Providence as opportunity to the maker of puns.

Ah, punster, would my lot were cast,
Where the cobbler is unknown,
So that I might forget his last
And hear your own. (Gargo Repsky)

laziness - unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.

learning - the kind of ignorance affected by (and affecting) civilised races, as distinguished from IGNORANCE, the sort of learning incurred by savages. See NONSENSE.

lecturer - one with his hand in your pocket, his tongue in your ear and his faith in your patience.

Leveller - the kind of political and social reformer who is more concerned to bring others down to his plane than to lift himself to theirs.

lighthouse - a tall building on the seashore in which the government maintains a lamp and a friend of a politician.

limb - the branch of a tree or the leg of an American woman.

linen - "a kind of cloth the making of which, when made of hemp, entails a great waste of hemp." - Calcraft the Hangman.

literally - figuratively, as: "The pond was literally full of fish"; "The ground was literally alive with snakes," etc.

Literature - the collective body of writing of all mankind, excepting Hubert Howe Bancroft and Adair Welcker. Theirs are Illiterature.

logic - the art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.

loss - privation of that which we had, or had not. Thus, in the latter sense, it is said of a defeated candidate that he "lost his election"; and of that eminent man, the poet Gilder, that he has "lost his mind". It is in the former and more legitimate sense, that the word is used in the famous epitaph:

Here Huntington's ashes long have lain
Whose loss is our own eternal gain,
For while he exercised all his powers
Whatever he gained, the loss was ours.

maiden - a young person of the unfair sex addicted to clewless conduct and views that madden to crime. The genus has a wide geographical distribution, being found wherever sought and deplored wherever found. The maiden is not altogether unpleasing to the eye, nor (without her piano and her views) insupportable to the ear, though in respect to comeliness distinctly inferior to the rainbow, and, with regard to the part of her that is audible, beaten out of the field by the canary - which, also, is more portable.

man - an animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be. His chief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.

manna - a food miraculously given to the Israelites in the wilderness. When it was no longer supplied to them they settled down and tilled the soil, fertilising it, as a rule, with the bodies of the original occupants.

mausoleum - the final, and funniest, folly of the rich.

medal - a small metal disk given as a reward for virtues, attainments or services more or less authentic. It is related that Bismarck, who had been awarded a medal for gallantly rescuing a drowning person, that, being asked the meaning of the medal, he replied: "I save lives sometimes." And sometimes he didn't.

mind - a mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with. From the Latin, mens, a fact unknown to that honest shoe-seller, who, observing that his learned competitor over the way had displayed the motto "Mens conscia recti," emblazoned his own shop front with the words "Men's, women's and children's conscia recti."

Mormon - a follower of Joseph Smith, who received from an angel a revelation inscribed on brass plates and afterward revised and enlarged by his successor in the prophethood. While still an inoffensive people the Mormons were bitterly persecuted, their prophet assassinated, their homes burned and themselves driven into the desert, where they prospered, practiced polygamy and themselves took and hand in the game of persecution.

namby-pamby - having the quality of magazine poetry. (See FLUMMERY.)

oblivion - the state or condition in which the wicked cease from struggling and the dreary are at rest. Fame's eternal dumping ground. Cold storage for high hopes. A place where ambitious authors meet their works without pride and their betters without envy. A dormitory without an alarm clock.

pantheism - the doctrine that everything is God, in contradistinction to the doctrine that God is everything.

phoenix - the classical prototype of the modern "small hot bird."

pilgrim - a traveler that is taken seriously. A Pilgrim Father was one who, leaving Europe in 1620 because not permitted to sing psalms through his nose, followed it to Massachusetts, where he could personate God according to the dictates of his conscience.

pitiful - the state of an enemy or opponent after an imaginary encounter with oneself.

plague - in ancient times a general punishment of the innocent for admonition of their ruler, as in the familiar instance of Pharoah the Immune. The plague as we of today have the happiness to know it is merely Nature's fortuitous manifestation of her purposeless objectionableness.

platitude - the fundamental element and special glory of popular literature. A thought that snores in words that smoke. The wisdom of a million fools in the diction of a dullard. A fossil sentiment in artificial rock. A moral without the fable. All that is mortal of a departed truth. A demi-tasse of milk-and-morality. The Pope's-nose of a featherless peacock. A jellyfish withering on the shore of the sea of thought. The cackle surviving the egg. A desiccated epigram.

plaudit - the unit of currency in which the populace pays those who tickle and devour it.

pray - to ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

precedent - in Law, a previous decision, rule or practice which, in the absence of a definite statute, has whatever force and authority a Judge may choose to give it, thereby greatly simplifying his task of doing as he pleases. As there are precedents for everything, he has only to ignore those that make against his interest and accentuate those in the line of his desire. Invention of the precedent elevates the trial-at-law from the low estate of a fortuitous ordeal to the noble altitude of a dirigible abitrament.

precocious - a four-year-old who elopes with his sister's doll.

Presbyterian - one who holds the conviction that the governing authorities of the Church should be called presbyters.

Presidency - the greased pig in the field game of American politics.

President - the leading figure in a small group of men of whom - and of whom only - it is positively known that immense numbers of their countrymen did not want any of them for President.

prime - enough to make a cat vomit. "Try our 5cent Havana filler" and see if it isn't.

rational - devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.

retribution - the natural rock upon which is reared the Temple of Law.

revenge - sending your girl's love letters to your rival after he has married her.

riot - a popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.

rostrum - in Latin, the beak of a bird or the prow of a ship. In America, a place from which a candidate for office energetically expounds the wisdom, virtue and power of the rabble.

Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origins in the fact that God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh. Among the Jews the observance of the day was enforced by a Commandment of which this is the Christian version: "Remember the seventh day to make they neighbour keep it wholly." To the Creator it seemed fit and expedient that the Sabbath should be the last day of the week, but the Early Fathers of the Church held other views. So great is the sanctity of the day that even where the Lord holds a doubtful and precarious jurisdiction over those who go down to (and down into) the sea it is reverently recognised, as is manifest in the following deep-water version of the Fourth Commandment:

"Six days shalt thou labour and do all thou art able,
And on the seventh holystone the deck and scrape the cable."

Decks are no longer holystoned, but the cable still supplies the captain with opportunity to attest a pious respect for the divine ordinance.

sad - the efforts of musical debutantes:

"I'm saddest when I sing." Toodles

saint - a dead sinner revised and edited. "The Duchess of Orleans relates that the irreverent old Calumniator, Marshal Villeroi, who in his youth had known St Francis de Sales, said, on hearing him called a saint: 'I am delighted to hear that Monsieur de Sales is a saint. He was fond of saying indelicate things, and used to cheat at cards. In other respects he was a perfect gentleman, though a fool.'"

sardine - a small and very palatable fish, to which many unpalatable persons hesitate to compare themselves.

saw - a trite popular saying, or proverb. (Figurative and colloquial.) So called because it makes its way into a wooden head. Following are examples of old saws fitted with new teeth:
"Half a loaf is better than a whole one if there is much else."
"What is worth doing is worth the trouble of asking somebody to do it."
"He laughs best who last laughs least."
"Strike while your employer has a big contract."

tedium - ennui, the state or condition of one that is bored. Many fanciful derivations of the word have been affirmed, but so high an authority as Father Jape says that it comes from a very obvious source - the first words of the ancient Latin hymn Te Deum Laudamus. In this apparently natural derivation there is something that saddens.

telephone - an invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.

Trinity - in the multiplex theism of certain Christian churches, three entirely distinct deities consistent with only one. Subordinate deities of the polytheistic faith, such as devils and angels, are not dowered with the power of combination, and must urge individually their claims to adoration and propitiation. The Trinity is one of the most sublime mysteries of our holy religion. In rejecting it because it is incomprehensible, Unitarians betray their inadequate sense of theological fundamentals. In religion we believe only what we do not understand, except in the instance of an intelligible doctrine that contradicts an incomprehensible one. In that case we believe the former as part of the latter.

truth - an ingenious compound of desirability and appearance. Discovery of truth is the sole purpose of philosophy, which is the most ancient occupation of the human mind and has a fair prospect of existing with increasing activity to the end of time.

tzetze (or tsetse) fly - an African insect (glossina morsitans) whose bite is commonly regarded as nature's most efficacious remedy for insomnia, though some patients prefer that of the American novelist (mendax interminabilis).

weather - the climate of an hour. A permanent topic of conversation among persons whom it does not interest, but who have inherited the tendency to chatter about it from naked arboreal ancestors whom it keenly concerned. The setting up of official weather bureaus and their maintenance in mendacity prove that even governments are accessible to suasion by the rude forefathers of the jungle.

worship - Homo Creator's testimony to the sound construction and fine finish of Deus Creatus. A popular form of abjection, having an element of pride.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Ambrose Bierce: from The Devil's Dictionary (A - J)

abatis - embarrassing circumstances placed outside a fort in order to augment the coy reluctance of the enemy.
or
abatis - rubbish in front of a fort, to prevent the rubbish outside from molesting the rubbish inside.

abide - to treat with merited indifference the landlord's notification that he has let his house to a party willing to pay.

abridge - to shorten ("When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for a people to abridge their king, a decent respect for the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation." Oliver Cromwell)

Ace - the one-fourth part of the Hand of Fate.

acephalous - in the surprising condition of the Crusader who absently pulled at his forelock some hours after a Saracen scimitar had, unconsciously to him, passed through his neck, as related by de Joineville.

adamant - a mineral frequently found beneath a corset. Soluble in solicitate of gold.

Adam's Apple - a protuberance in the throat of man, thoughtfully provided by Nature to keep the rope in place.

adder - a species of snake. So called from its habit of adding funeral outlays to the other expenses of living.

address - the place at which one receives the delicate attention of creditors.

adipose - fat, ragged and saucy.

admiration - our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.

advice - the smallest current coin.

"The man was in such deep distress,"
Said Tom, "that I could do no less
Than give him good advice." Said Jim:
"If less could have been done for him
I know you well enough, my son,
To know that's what you would have done." (Jebel Jocordy)

affectionate - addicted to being a nuisance. The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

affiance'ed - fitted with an ankle-ring for the ball-and-chain.

affirm - to declare with suspicious gravity when one is not compelled to wholly discredit himself with an oath.

alliance - in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pocket that they cannot separately plunder a third.

ambrosia - the diet of the gods - the modern peanut.

aphorism - predigested wisdom.

The flabby wine-skin of his brain
Yields to some pathologic strain,
And voids from its unstored abysm
The driblet of an aphorism. ("The Mad Philosopher", 1697)

appeal - in law, to put the dice into the box for another throw.

appetite - an instinct thoughtfully implanted by Providence as a solution to the labour question.

ardor - the quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.

He loved her with an ardor -
Such a hot one,
That her father had to guard her
With a shotgun. (Ovid)

arena - in politics, an imaginary rat-pit in which the statesman wrestles with his record.

armor - the kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.

arrest - formally to detain one accused of unusualness (e.g. "God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh." - The Unauthorized Version)

bard - a person who makes rhymes. The word is one of the numerous aliases under which the poet seeks to veil his identity and escape opprobrium.

beggar - a pest unkindly inflicted upon the suffering rich.

betrothed - the condition of a man and woman who, pleasing to one another and objectionable to their friends, are anxious to propitiate society by becoming unendurable to each other.

book-learning - the dunce's derisive term for all knowledge that transcends his own impenitent ignorance.

bride - a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

cab - a tormenting vehicle in which a pirate jolts you through devious ways to the wrong place, and then robs you.

Canonicals - the motley worn by Jesters of the Court of Heaven.

child - an accident to the occurence of which all the forces and arrangements of nature are specially devised and accurately adapted.

dandle - to set an unresisting child upon one's knee and jolt its teeth loose in a transport of affection.

Deist - one who believes in God, but reserves the right to worship the Devil.

dejeuner - the breakfast of an American who has been in Paris. Variously pronounced.

deliberation - the act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.

demure - grave and modest-mannered, like a particularly unscrupulous woman.

There was a young maid so demure,
That she fooled all the men who knew her;
But the women they smoked her
And took her and choked her
And chucked her into a sewer. (Milton)

deposit - a charitable contribution to the support of a bank.

descendant - any person proceeding from an ancestor in any degree.

Alas for the days when my baboon ancestral
In Japanese woods from the lithe limb was pendant,
Instructing, kind hearted, each babooness vestal
How best to achieve for herself a descendant. (Oscar Wilde)

desert - an extensive and fertile tract of land producing heavy wheat and vintage crops in colonisation prospectuses.

desertion - an aversion to fighting, as exhibited by abandoning an army or a wife.

dessicate - to make dry.

Now Noble to the pulpit leaps,
The mighty dessicator,
The audience profoundly sleeps -
Slow snores the great creator. (Shelley)

despatches - a complete account of all the murders, outrages and other disgusting crimes which take place everywhere, disseminated daily by an Associated Press for the amelioration of the world in general.

electioneer - to stand on a platform and scream that Smith is a child of light and Jones a worm of the dust.

emancipation - a bondsman's change from the tyranny of another to the despotism of himself.

embassador - a minister of high rank maintained by one government at the capital of another to execute the will of his wife.

esoteric - very particularly abstruse and consummately occult. The ancient philosophies were of two kinds - exoteric, those that the philosophers themselves could partly understand, and esoteric, those that nobody could understand. It is the latter that have most profoundly affected modern thought and found the greatest acceptance in our time.

ermine - the state, dignity or condition of a judge. The word is formed of the two words, err and mine - the one suggesting the tendency of a judicial mind, the other expressing, in a general way, the judicial notion of the rightful ownership of property in dispute.

euphemism - in rhetoric, a figure by which the severe asperity of truth is mitigated by the use of a softer expression than the facts would warrant - as, to call Mr Charles Crocker ninety-nine kinds of knave.

expediency - the father of all the virtues.

expostulation - one of the many methods by which fools prefer to lose their friends.

fatigue - the condition of philosopher after having considered human wisdom and virtue.

fear - a sense of the total depravity of the immediate future.

fickleness - the iterated satiety of an enterprising affection.

Flood - a superior degree of dampness. Specifically, a great strom described by Berosus and Moses, when, according to the latter's rain-guage, there was a precipitation of moisture to the depth of one-eighth of a mile in twenty-four hours for forty days. The former did not measure, apparently, for he simply explains (in pretty good Greek) that it rained cats and dogs. The learned author of the cunieform inscriptions from the Mesopotamian mounds draws a number of carpet-tacks on a brick to signify that it was "quite a smart shower considering the season."

flop - suddenly to change one's opinion and go over to another party. The most notable flop on record was that of Saul of Tarsus, who has been severely criticised as a turncoat by some of our partisan journals.

fool - a person who pervades the domain of intellectual speculation and diffuses himself through the channels of moral activity. He is omnific, omniform, omnipercipient, omniscient, omnipotent. He it was who invented letters, printing, the railroad, the steamboat, the telegraph, the platitude and the circle of the sciences. He created patriotism and taught the nations war - founded theology, philosophy, law, medicine and Chicago. He established monarchical and republican government. He is from everlasting to everlasting - such as creation's dawn beheld he fooleth now. In the morning of time he sang upon primitive hills, and in the noonday of existence headed the procession of being. His grandmotherly hand has warmly tucked-in the set sun of civilisation, and in the twilight he prepares Man's evening meal of milk-and-morality and turns down the covers of the universal grave. And after the rest of us shall have retired for the night of eternal oblivion he will sit up to write a history of human civilisation.

friend - an investigator upon the slide of whose microscope we live, move and have our being.

friendship - a ship big enough to carry two in fair weather, but only one in foul.

frontespiece - a protuberance of the human face, beginning between the eyes and terminating, as a rule, in somebody's business.

gas-meter - the family liar in the basement.

generous - originally this word meant noble by birth and was rightly applied to a great multitude of persons. It now means noble by nature and is taking a bit of a rest.

ghoul - a demon addicted to the reprehensible habit of devouring the dead. The existence of ghouls has been disputed by that class of controversialists who are more concerned to deprive the world of comforting beliefts than to give it anything good in their place. In 1640 Father Secchi saw one in a cemetery near Florence and frightened it away with the sign of the cross. He describes it as gifted with many heads and an uncommon allowance of limbs, and he saw it in mor ethan one place at a time. Thge good man was coming away from dinner at the time and explains that if he had not been "heavy with eating" he would have seized the demon at all hazards. Atholson relates that a ghoul was caught by some sturdy peasants in a churchyard at Sudbury and ducked in a horsepond. The water turned at once to blood "and so contynues unto ys daye." The pond has since been bled with a ditch. As late as the beginning of the fourteenth century a ghoul was cornered in the crypt of the cathedral at Amiens and the whole population surrounded the place. Twenty armed men with a priest at their head, bearing a crucifix, entered and captured the ghoul, which, thinking to escape by the stratagem, had transformed itself to the semblance of a well known citizen, but was nevertheless hanged, drawn and quartered in the midst of hideous popular orgies. The citizen whose shape the demon had assumed was so affected by the sinister occurence that he never again showed himself in Amiens and his fate remains a mystery.

gnu - an animal of South Africa, which in its domesticated state resembles a horse, a buffalo and a stag. In its wild condition it is something like a thunderbolt, an earthquake and a cyclone.

A hunter from Kew caught a distant view
Of a peacefully meditative gnu,
And he said: "I'll pursue, and my hands imbrue
In its blood at a closer interview."
But the beast did ensue and the hunter it threw
O'er the top of a palm that adjacent grew;
And he said as he flew: "It is well I withdrew
Ere, losing my temper, I wickedly slew
That really meritorious gnu." (Jarn Leffer)

grip - ex-Speaker Parks's manner of fondling the property of the commonwealth.

groan - the language in which a Republican Federal office-holder expounds his view of the political situation.

Hell - the residence of the late Dr. Noah Webster, dictionary-maker.

homoeopathist - the humorist of the medical profession.

homoeopathy - a theory and practice of medicine which aims to cure the diseases of fools. As it does not cure them, and does sometimes kill the fools, it is ridiculed by the thoughtless, but commended by the wise.

hunger - a peculiar disease afflicting all the classes of mankind and commonly treated by dieting. It is observed that those who live in fine houses have it the lightest. This information is useful to chronic sufferers.

idiot - a member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling. The Idiot's activity is not confined to any special field or thought or action, but "pervades and regulates the whole." He has the last word in everything; his decision is unappealable. He sets the fashions of opinion and taste, dictates the limitations of speech and circumscribes conduct with a deadline.

imagination - a warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.

imbecility - a kind of divine inspiration, or sacred fire affecting censorious critics of this dictionary.

immaculate - not as yet spotted by the police.

inauspicious - not lousy with it in the crop. . . The author of this dictionary feels it his duty to explain to the Eastern reader that the appalling phrase immediately foregoing is not of his own invention, and that he employs it here, with reluctance, in order to be clearly understood in the mining camps of this state, where "English as she is spoke" on the Atlantic seaboard is altogether unintelligible. The author begs to assure his Eastern readers that the phrase in questions means nothing very disagreeable; it may be translated thus: "Not showing much free gold in the outcroppings." Let us now proceed.

incompossible - unable to exist if something else exists. Two things are incompossible when the world of being has scope for one of them, but not enough for both - as Walt Whitman's poetry and God's mercy to man. Incompossibility, it will be seen, is only incompatibility let loose. Instead of such low language as "Go heel yourself - I mean to kill you on sight," the words, "Sir, we are incompossible," would convey an equally significant intention and in stately courtesy are altogether superior.

inconsiderate - imperfectly attentive to the welfare, happiness, comfort or desires of others; as cholera, smallpox, the rattlesnake and the satirical newspaper.

incorporation - the act of uniting several persons into one fiction called a corporation, in order that they may be no longer responsible for their actions. A, B and C are a corporation. A robs, B steals and C (it is necessary that there be one gentleman among them) cheats. It is a plundering, thieving, swindling corporation. But A, B and C, who have jointly determined and severally executed every crime of the corporation, are blameless. It is wrong to mention them by name when censuring their acts as a corporation, but right when praising. Incorporation is somewhat like the ring of Gyges: it bestows the blessing of invisibility - comfortable to knaves. The scoundrel who invented incorporation is dead - he has disincorporated.

indecision - the chief element of success; "for whereas," saith Sir Thomas Brewbold, "there is but one way to do nothing and divers ways to do something, whereof, to a surety, only one is the right way, it followeth that he who from indecision standeth still hath not so many chances of going astray as he who pusheth forwards" - a most clear and satisfactory exposition of the matter.

indigestion - a disease which the patient and his friends frequently mistake for deep religious conviction and concern for the salvation of mankind. As the simple Red Man of the western wild put it, with, it must be confessed, a certain force: "Plenty well, no pray; big bellyache, heap God."

infallible - not liable to error; dead-sure - as Frank Pixley, when speaking ex cathartica.

ingratitude - a form of self-respect that is not inconsistent with acceptance of favours.

inhumanity - one of the signal and characteristic qualities of humanity.

innate - natural, inherent - as innate ideas, that is to say, ideas that we are born with, having had them previously imparted to us. The doctrine of innate ideas is one of the most admirable faiths of philosophy, being itself an innate idea and therefore inaccessible to disproof, though Locke foolishly supposed himself to have "given it a black eye." Among innate ideas may be mentioned the belief in one's ability to conduct a newspaper, in the greatness of one's country, in the superiority of one's civilisation, in the importance of one's personal affairs and in the interesting nature of one's diseases.

intention - the mind's sense of the prevalence of one set of influences over another set; an effect whose cause is the imminence, immediate or remote, of the performance of the act intended by the person incurring the intention. . . When figured out and accurately apprehended this will be found one of the most penetrating and far-reaching definitions in this whole dictionary. It has taken the first premium at three country fairs and is prescribed by all respectable physicians as a dead shot for worms. It increased the corn yield of Illinois one million bushels in a single season, discovered the source of the Nile and saved the day at Shiloh.

interlocutor - the barometrical centre of depression at a minstrel show.

intoxication - a spiritual condition that goeth before the next morning.

intractable - stubbornly unwilling to adopt a course from which nothing can divert ourselves.

introduction - a social ceremony invented by the devil for the gratification of his servants and the plaguing of his enemies. The introduction attains its most malevolent development in this country, being, indeed, closely related to our political system. Every American being the equal of every other American, it follows that everybody has the right to know everybody else, which implies the right to introduce without request or permission. The Declaration of Independence should have read thus: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights; that among these are life, and the right to make that of another miserable by thrusting upon him an incalculable quantity of acquaintances; liberty, particularly the liberty to introduce persons to one another without first ascertaining if they are not already acquainted as enemies; and the pursuit of another's happiness with a running pack of strangers."

ivory - a substance kindly provided by nature for making billiard balls. It is usually harvested from the mouths of elephants.

jealous - unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping.

jockey - a person whose business it is to ride and throw races.

joss-sticks - small sticks burned by the Chinese in their pagan tomfoolery, in imitation of certain rites of our holy religion.

Jove - a mythical being whom the Greeks and Romans ridiculously supposed to be the supreme ruler of the universe - unacquainted as they were with our holy religion.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Pseuds Corner Holiday Edition


"Grandeur is a mixing together, a moral aspect of what do we value, and with an economic aspect - which is, where are the resources going . . . It's saying that in life you must try to fuse your ethical ambitions and your economic ambitions. . .
The image that was very much in my mind, thinking about grandeur, was a story of boys behaving badly at school. It was a school trip on which two boys had picked on a third. And the ones who'd done the bullying were from the most affluent families.
For me that caused a sort of sacred rage. . ." (John Armstrong, in interview with The Zone, "Grand designs", The Age, 01/11/10)
 
When I realised so many years ago that Jesus's sisters had been cruelly written out of history, and that no matter how much I cared, I could not reinstate them, I felt useless. None of the tools I had spent so many years acquiring as an academic scholar and general audience non-fiction writer were in any way equal to the task. I was surplus to what these women required. - I tried to forget the sisters. To abandon them to the dust of the unmarked past where I'd found them, but failed. To do so made me feel complicit in perpetuating what they'd already suffered - the terrible pain of being forgotten. - There was only one thing left to do. Slowly, I learned the craft of fiction writing so I could tell these stories the only way they could be told. (Leslie Cannold, "The Da Vinci Sisters", The Age 26/12/10)

I'm sitting in my local cafe, near the window. My jacket is on. I can see the Manchurian pear trees nearby, and the sky through their silouette fingers: clouds of white, light grey and charcoal, moving quickly from the shop facades to the awning of the cafe. On my table is a double short black and my laptop. The coffee has one sugar in it. Plugged into my laptop is a pair of large black headphones. They fit over my ears, and sit against my skull with soft rubber pads. Bruch's Violin Concerto No. 1 in G minor is playing - Jascha Heifetz is the virtuoso. . . Even here in the cafe, the headphones need to cover my ears, otherwise the piercing voice of the proprietress will intrude. This is a relationship between me (the author), you (the reader) and the page. The proprietress in not helping by interrupting. (Damon Young on the moral quintessence of distraction, The Reader Vol.2)

The story of the Christ child makes the spirit soar, as it has for countless generations. What is it that defines Christmas for us? The strain of the obligatory socialising with family (including the ones you might naturally run a mile from)? The obligation huge numbers of people have to make those they love, especially children, feel that love because of the effort to delight them with the right gift? The general mayhem of spending and socialising and simulating good cheer in the midst of the strain and the squalor of another year gone? - Well, Christmas can be all of that. It's easy to forget that when Dickens created his ''Bah! Humbug'' man Scrooge in A Christmas Carol, he wasn't simply adding new refinements of sentimentalism to the long-established myth. He was also delineating, with great power, the travails of the long-distance loner. (If you re-read the bits of the story everyone forgets, before Scrooge comes good, you'll find that Dickens accommodates a sweeping blackness as disturbing as Kafka's.) - But on top of everything else, there's the story of the Christ child that surfaces in us like a race memory. . .
It was pleasing the other week when that easygoing lady of the left, Tanya Plibersek, Minister for Human Services and Social Inclusion, took to task whatever blighted public servant it was who ordered that there should be nothing Christian in any of the displays in post offices, as if a nativity scene was the insignia of the Spanish Inquisition and nothing but the stench of infamy in the nostrils of all those fundamentalist atheists who march under the banner of Richard Dawkins. - Plibersek said, quite rightly, that the Christmas story was a thing to be treasured, and people should also be free to honour Hanukkah and Hindu and Muslim festivals. - Of course that's true. Christmas is the one, though, that underlies the Jewish and Greek influences that structure our world. - If you doubt the Jewish influence in Christianity, think of the stupendous, densely Hebraic accents of Mary's great prayer which is known to the church as the Magnificat. (Peter Craven, "Tale of Innocence and Joy", The Age, 24/12/10)

If the independent arts remain invisible to government policy and support, a diminished view of the arts will guide community participation, venue programming, education programs and media responses - and the arts will suffer across the state.
In the words of one prominent voice: "It's important that we don't allow the arts to become just a platform of observers; it's about participation; it's about artists. And in my view, an active arts community is a community where there's diversity, where the community is engaged with artists, where they're welcoming of artists, where the artists and the art forms are not institutionalised for their own sake, but they are ever-evolving - they're thoughtful, they're powerful, perpetually fresh, perpetually edgy". . .
An effective arts policy, collaborating with the independent arts, will create partnerships with those smaller organisations already immersed in artist development. A devolved funding approach overcomes the stop-start nature of project funding, securing the committment of expert organisations for programs such as mentorships, audience development, public space creation.
In 2011, Victoria's arts policy must take the creativity, diversity and sheer scale of the independent arts as its starting point. With a strong peer-review culture, and unencumbered by the art-form boards of the Australia Council, Arts Victoria is well placed to collaborate on new models. . . (Esther Anatolitis, wind assisted by T. Baillieu (aka "The Voice") - The Age, 17/01/11)

Friday, January 14, 2011

Eat, Pray, Throw Stuff Out

crikey review of Corinne Grant's Lessons in Letting Go: Confessions of a Hoarder

What can you say about the small number of people out there who can’t stand Corinne Grant? My theory about the Corinne-haters was always that Grant’s brand of humour is just a bit too cosy for some tastes. In her routines on “The Glass House” and the live stand-up scene you’d get hardly any of the snark with which other funny-men decapitate their fellow humans day after day, and none of the excruciating embarrassments that plenty of comedy relies on for comic effect. For more than a decade now, Grant’s schtick has been that of an ex-country girl who still gets herself in a tangle adapting to the big-smoke. Even when she’d try out a bit of lazy smut, or did take-offs of the freakshow of city street-life, she’d always keep enough of the girl-next-dooriness to save her routines from shading off into any sort of black; she’d fess up to her fantasies about coming home with the balls of the bogan on the tram wrapped in plastic, but then she’d hunch over or cover her mouth in embarrassment – and that was almost as funny as the gag.

Well, Lessons in Letting Go is here to tell us that it’s been harder work being Corinne Grant than we might have assumed. The book’s about being a hoarder – something Grant wants to tell us is a specific condition in its own right, a very serious condition, involving a pathological inability to throw out any of the stuff you’ve ever accumulated.

The tale starts in what is Grant’s recognisable comic mode. To warm us up, she rattles off self-deprecating stories about her days as a junior try-hard from Corryong, Victoria. Within a chapter or two, she’s down in Melbourne at uni, and we learn about her obsession with stuff as she shacks up with a guy called Thomas. The comic set-pieces follow a basic formula, which works well enough: as she moves between flats she digs up bits and pieces that remind her of moderately funny misadventures from the Corryong days. Pretty early on she meets comic-to-be, Adam Richard, who gets most of the best lines in the book and is there to offset Grant’s desperately straight ways with top-shelf gay self-parody. (If she’s the clueless country kid, he’s Liberace in tracksuit pants.) Boyfriend Thomas comes off second best as a character. Grant spends the greater part of the book grieving about what never was, taking advantage of Thomas’ patience as the friendly ex. The relationship that preceded all this is next to non-existent: Thomas is fundamentally decent, not obsessed with hanging on to his stuff (and therefore in Grant’s mind “brave”) - and, apart from that, he’s just there to calm her down and reason with her about her stuff.

Lessons in Letting Go tries out two types of explanations of her hoarding ways – straight ones and jokey ones. The second type often rings truer than the first type, making the second half of the book, when Grant’s efforts to come to terms with her obsessions get deadly serious, a bit of a drag.

Until she starts “de-hoarding”, one of the main things Grant can’t get a grip on is the difference between the social ritual of buying stuff for other people, which isn’t always a token of live human feeling, and the reality of genuine emotional bonds. She’s accumulated so much stuff because she’s never thrown away a single Christmas card or any of the 20 bottles of skin-cream she’s been gifted since the 1980s. This is the personal essence of the hoarding behaviour: it’s as if her connections with other people are so tenuous that if she bins the unused 20 year old presents she’ll be standing naked in the present, utterly alone; or as if her sense of herself depends so much on the past that she needs physical reminders of every little incident to know that she’s still alive in the here and now. She’s almost hysterical in her nostalgia, and she knows it. Every old scrunchy sends her bowling down memory lane, like an elasticised version of Proust’s madeleine.

The book though seems to toss up more questions than Grant herself can answer without the help of the psychological professionals. Is her hoarding a side-effect of the way she over-empathises? (She does it with things as well as people.) How does the localised problem – the fear of turfing out all the pressies and momentos – relate to her wider set of fears – the paralysing neurotic fear of offending people, appearing rude, appearing stupid, appearing timid, or the circular neurotic perception that it’s pathetic to have all those fears in the first place? If her habits as a hoarder open her eyes to a generalised anxiety – the classic existentialist heeby-jeebies – then how does sorting out the localised problem with excess possessions allow her to neutralise the wider anxiety, and do so without any neurotic remainders?

Neutralise it she does, with a dose of spirituality and some casual humanitarianism. Off she flies to Bali, for 10 days of yoga and psychic purging, some encounters with women who have done an impressive amount of their own letting-go, and a spot of what my anthropology lecturer used to call “exoticism”: a highly satisfying attempt to project a fantasy of wholesome simplicity onto the Indonesian natives she doesn’t really get to know. The best of all this is still the funny bits – the cute Dutch girl who says things like “Every Dutch person has class. We don’t have bogans. What is ‘daggy’?” (Corinne is tactful enough not to answer “straight young Dutchies.”) The worst is the self-helpy tone Grant gives to it all: her purpose in visiting this tourist-brochure “tropical paradise”, she tells us, is “to learn to let go of my pain”.

It’s hard to knock another person’s journey of self-discovery. Surely one human being’s journey of self-discovery is as good as the next? Yes, but is one person’s journey as worthy of a novel-length memoir as the next? The answer has to be no: whether the journey’s worth writing about depends on the depth of experience and whether it comes through in words and sentences. Now: if this seems to reduce a comic’s confession to very serious terms, with Lessons in Letting Go you have to get down to the serious stuff at some point. The book stops functioning like an extended stand-up routine quite early on. It wants to tell us that spiritual retreats, human companionship and contact with the suffering of the earth can make you into a better person. Who could possibly doubt it? The point is that most of us already know those kinds of things can change your life. So someone writing about them has to show us how with a lot more vividness than Oprah and her blithering guests, or else it’ll sound clichéd.

In the end that’s why Lessons in Letting Go sours its own fun: because what it comes down to is a lengthy, comically unreconstructed indecent exposure of Grant’s neurotic consciousness. “Unreconstructed” is the operative word here. Because obviously the material itself – hoarding, and the convoluted guilt, shame and attachment to the past that make Grant into a hoarder – could’ve made for some funny and perceptive summer reading: aren’t intense guilt and shame the neurotic feedstock of the routines we know and love in Woody Allen, or Phillip Roth, or Corinne Grant when she’s at her best?

There’s no comparison, unfortunately. The shamelessness with which Woody used to whine about being a loser is the motor of his best films: the shamelessness is what perversely suggests that he’s master of all the stuff that he’s telling us over and over he’s not master of. Midway through Lessons in Letting Go Corinne Grant enters into a vicious circle: she tells us how ashamed she is of her hoarding and showers us with the details, but that’s all. When she does eventually break the pattern, turfing out half a house worth of stuff, throwing a party and presumably deciding to write a book about it all, you realise how far she’s left comedy behind. Apart from a handful of good smartarse lines from Adam Richard, there aren’t that many funnies to speak of towards the end of the book.

In becoming a reformed hoarder, Grant seems to create for herself a safe domain of comfort, tidiness and self-contentment that she somehow fell away from during childhood. She returns wholly to a sort of comfort-zone, one that her fellow hoarders and the rest of us are supposed to find edifying.

Some people will find it edifying and some won’t. The reason it rings untrue is because you know the tidy ideal is exactly the kind of thing Grant in stand-up mode is expert at mocking.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Pseuds Corner - No.10

- an occasional selection of the worst of the Australian media-sphere, with particular attention to arts and political commentary that is pompous, pretentious, over-written, self-important, knowing instead of knowledgeable, name-dropping, euphemistic, cliche'd or sloppily written to the point of meaninglessness. . .

Cave's saturnine persona refutes Australian national optimism and its chirpy creed of "No worries". This is why he was so intent on colaborating with Kylie. One druggy evening in March in 1992, he persuaded a fan to give him a little pink and baby-blue plastic bag with Kylie's name on it, now on show at the National Library; he toted the candy-coloured trinket around the world, hoping it transmitted a message. In 1996 she fell for the bait and sweetly permitted him to slay her in "Where the Wild Roses Grow". They make an odd couple in the video. Frankenstein's lumbering monster has apparently convinced Ramsay St's fluffy, sugary Charlene to go out on a date. It was a sacrificial act, designed to ravage the suburban Australia of barbequed nature strips, trilling budgies and unstained laundry happily flapping on rotary clothes lines. - Cave has compared Australia to the Holy Land, but only because its terrain is so stark and unhallowed . . . "More flies than at the Cruxifiction", comments Euchrid in And the Ass Saw the Angel, futilely brushing away the winged filth that crawls on his skin. Who but an Australian, picturing Golgotha, would listen for the hum and drone of the blowies that surely converged on Christ's succulent wounds? (Peter Conrad, The Monthly)

I’m a morning person if you accept that morning is a state of mind, beginning when you decide it should. I think Descartes said something like you shouldn’t let anyone get you out of bed until you’re good and ready if you want to do decent mathematics. In a perfect world, it would be the same with writing, of course. But even on little sleep the morning can be golden for creative work, the brain surprisingly deft, somehow reborn. (Kristel Thornell on the meaning of morning, Melbourne Writers Festival blog)

I’ve been in a lot of aeroplanes lately – flying out from Melbourne, flying in novels, and in dreams. Sometimes the ports look similar. Familiar, unfamiliar. My life is literature, is writing, is reading, and always passion, and there are good and bad things about being intertwined with fiction, about consistent imagining. It can be expansive, but also irrepressible. It can thrill or bother me at three o’clock in the morning. - But then, flying somewhere to talk about it - to share on stage, in a workshop, over a glass of wine - these habitations of the mind, connections formed on the page, worlds opened up, emotional educations or confirmations. - The next chance to do this is somewhere close to where I grew up – Byron Bay. I can’t wait to dig my feet in the sand, and to dig deep into the minds of authors. (Angela Meyer on being a Busy Byron Bay Writers Festival Bee, Literary Minded)


Want to know my favourite sex toy? My wooden spoon. I use it to cook lamb stir-fry, sweet potato soup and Mediterranean vegetable frittata. Another bedroom aid? The duster, broom or nappy wipes. . . You can imagine the dream scenario: as I approach 35, my life is part Voltaire, part Viagra. When I'm not cooking three dinners, wiping snot out of my daughter's eyes, or impaling my foot on Lego starships, my wife and I are enjoying tender hours of lovemaking. . . I jest, but the 'Mentally Sexy Dad' is a real phenomenon. The brainchild of blogger Clint Greagen at Reservoir Dad, the competition celebrates men who're committed to a more balanced family life. It's a reminder: men who clean, cook and parent are hot stuff. . . This is the logic behind Reservoir Dad's competition. In an irreverent way, Clint is trying to highlight the attractiveness of alternative masculine domesticity. Of course this involves a little beefcake: bulging guns or tight bums in little undies. But this is only the most obvious allure. More than anything else, these are men who refuse to be bound by traditional gender roles. They can be tough, brawny and probably boozy - but they also wash, cook, clean and kid-wrangle. In this, the competition, also running the United States, is a celebration of today's real new age man: not stereotypically emasculated or wimpy, but caring, careful and committed. It's not a denial of what most men in Western societies do. It's an expansion of it: showing how their energy and perseverance can be broadened and enriched; how they can be bigger men, not in waistline, but in spirit. They're 'mentally sexy' because they've given their responsibilities and ideals thought, and demonstrated will, intelligence and foresight. It's about the allure of the soul, not just the biceps. (Damon Young, "Mentally sexy dads", ABC The Drum Unleashed)

Thank God I am not a squid, I think as I watch the unimaginable ordeals of so many animals; thank God I am not a gannet chick swallowed alive by a pelican; thank God I am not expected once a year to crawl up cliffs a million times higher than myself?. - Perhaps some of the gratification of nature documentaries is in reminding us of our own animal truths. . . Life reminds me of a favourite poem by Mary Oliver, Wild Geese, simple and moving because it speaks of the knowledge we have when we shiver in cold, when we are hungry, when we are frightened: that we are warm, living beasts, no less, little more:
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk
on your knees for a
hundred miles through
the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the
soft animal of your body
love what it loves. (Kate Holden, "A cosmos of wonders imparts its cosy glow", The Age)

I was startled by Professor Gillian Whitlock's reading of my essay 'After the Academy' (Australian Book Review, June/July 2002). She appears to think that my choice of 'romantic', 'organic' tropes and of such generally non-U discourses as 'settler autobiographics' was unwitting, and that I had somehow managed to get through seventeen years as a full time academic without achieving self-awareness in my own writing practice, and without being so much as touched by the ideas or the language by which I was surrounded. . .
There is, of course, no such thing as ME (I take it this was a laboured pun on campus-specific essentialist crimes; if not, it is now), and if Professor Whitlock claims to have no heart or soul then who am I to argue? As far as the development of the academic self over time is concerned, there can be no clear distinction between the 'sandstones' and the 'gumleaves', for most of us are the hybrid offspring of both, or perhaps I should say that our selves are constructed on the site where the various discourses circulating around both intersect. (Kerryn Goldsworthy responds to Gillian Whitlock, Australian Humanities Review)

The Almodóvar that was before us had all the suspense and sparkle in the world. - Yes, and by the grace of God, most of the acting was superb. Wendy Hughes had just the right kind of hauteur and quivering warmth as the famous actress who is besotted with her girlfriend and is the unwitting destroyer of the boy. This is a big handsome performance in the role that was recreated on the London stage by Diana Rigg, and Hughes gives it a sort of bewildered vulnerability in the midst of decaying magnificence that is splendid and also splendidly matched by Peta Sergeant, who sizzles with sexiness and self-pity as the damaged damsel who is her Stella and her Atthis. . .
Some of the other parts are, admittedly, played a bit cheesily. Katie Fitchett was too much a sketch of bouncy goodness and then long-suffering nobility as the nun who gets pregnant and then infected with HIV. And Jolyon James is far too effete and goonish as the actor who plays Stanley, but he’s a lot better as the missing father in drag. - This is not a flawless production but it is full of a wild energy and a counter-balancing grace that delivers a contemporary masterpiece full of all the dramatic and cinematic echoes in the world, which is all at once full of life and of the magic that gives it form. (Peter Craven, "Comedy and energy - and tears" Australian Spectator)

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Peter Craven: Why I Can't Write

- with apologies to G. Orwell

A bit of a follow-up to the Peter Craven edition of Pseuds Corner a while back. A few things have been pointed out to me by the Stage's 5.5 readers that bear on the Craven case and I think are worth repeating.

The argument from one quarter was that the Special Edition neglected to give the impression that Mr C can at times write better prose than what was on display in the 7 extracts I picked on a few weeks ago. This recent op-ed piece was cited as an example:

"Would that politics in this country were as well run as the ABC's political panel show Q and A - on a good day. Television transforms our apprehension of politics by its vividness, its accuracy and the sense of occasion with which it presents it. - Q and A began only last year, but is already essential to the political landscape. It presents a panel that includes a member each from the government and the opposition, a couple of journalists or intellectuals, perhaps someone from business or a think tank - five in all plus the presenter (Lateline's Tony Jones) - and subjects them to live questions from the audience plus a sprinkling sent in electronically. The format works superbly, highlighting both the political skill of our politicians and the fact that there is a lot more to the governing of a country than mere party political differences." (Peter Craven, "Question: What makes tv great? Answer: Q and A" The Age)

There's no doubt it's better written, though I'd hardly say that makes exhibits (a) through (g) from the Special Edition any more excusable, either from the point of view of Craven as a writer or that of his editors.

The argument from another quarter, precisely along these lines, was that the case against Craven's writing made in the Special Edition actually didn't go far enough. James of Coburg made the point that if he had submitted a single line of the prose from exhibits (a) through (g) to the editors of any of Australia's major literary publications then he would probably have been told straight-up that he was writing unpublishable drivel.

In the case of submissions (a) through to (g), professional editing would have meant refusing Mr Craven column space on the grounds of egregious lack of merit, coherence and substance, though some exceptions, James suggested, might be made for exhibits (c), (d) and (e), which, to quote James himself, "are more in the nature of a gossip column". (Decide for yourself whether the Lilian Frank persona Craven adopts for his Australian Spectator column is innocuous or intellectually offensive. I'm happy to concede James's point: lowering literary standards is fair enough if the only point of a piece really is to let Peter let the world know he saw Eddie and Carla Maguire at the latest Mary Poppins production.)

James's more important point though is that Mr Craven is being seriously indulged by many of the major editorial powers in the land, who, in publishing material of the - to use a Cravenism - loose baggy monstrousness of exhibits (a) through (g) are effectively refusing to edit. In this, I have to say, I agree. Like James, I find it hard to believe that a sane editor who'd been set the task of exercising his/her professional skills on exhibits (a) through (g) - from behind a veil of anonymity for instance - would have failed to apply the red pencil to every sentence even vaguely like this one:

"The easiest way into Rothwell is via Another Country, because that book makes clear without any overwhelming baroque turbulence that we are dealing with a cultivated sensibility, all but flypapered with the culture of Europe, the kind of bloke who jumped on a plane to see, as soon as possible, a newly rediscovered Titian in eastern Europe, who is steeped in the literary power of the 19th-century Australian explorers and is alive not only to his own desire for illumination and the potential for personal enlightenment and spiritual excruciation that comes from exploration (in all its literal and metaphorical ambivalence); but who is also, in a worldly sense, open to the fact that "spiritual tourism", like the taste for Aboriginal art, is a growth industry and a collective sussurration of which his own whispering is a part." ("Appointment with the sublime", ALR)

I also agree with James that there are aspects of grotesque awfulness to Mr Craven's prose - and his general mindset - that I actually left out of my initial collection. The list of excesses and foibles I started the Craven edition of Pseuds Corner with wasn't meant to be exhaustive and I now think I could've come up with a better list. At the top of it would have to go Craven's love of superfine comparisons between the works - or even the whole literary oeuvres - of his favourite literary geniuses - sometimes 4 or 5 per paragraph. To quote the above splurge about Nicholas Rothwell again:

"Of course, putting it like this is unfair to Rothwell, whose work is as moving and eloquent and imaginative (and as willing to stare down the truth no matter what mesmerising abyss it lurks in) as contemporary writing can be. But he is at the same time at an edge of artifice and distinctiveness where a lot of wise heads and smart money are liable to reject him. What was it that Dr Johnson said of Milton? That, as Ben Jonson had earlier said of Spenser, he writ no language, that he wrote a Babylonish dialect? And wasn't it Joseph Conrad, himself a latter-day Homer of the sea, who said of that most Miltonic of prose epics, Moby Dick, that it didn't have a single line of sincerity in it? - This is the hyperbole of the anti-hyperbolic. . . Rothwell is a remarkable writer and he has the exorbitant pretentiousness that goes with everything that is exquisite and mandarin and expectant about his whole endeavour. - Whether he's waiting for God or Godot in the desert doesn't matter, or only to him. His Northern Territory is a kind of junkyard of the detritus of a formidable if decadent European cultivation, but who could object, that's how Dostoyevsky saw the West and its gaming tables: with cold, engrossed eyes."
 
"In one way it's a form of landscape novel writing in which the world of characters in an ongoing drama is replaced by the brooding consciousness of the narrator who, by necessity, arrogates to himself whatever more or less Wordsworthian fascinations interiority and its thousand minute modulations might disclose. - V.S. Naipaul's The Enigma of Arrival is one kind of locus classicus of this kind of writing, the fiction of Gerald Murnane is another. It is, in any case, a form of documentary fiction-making that realigns fiction (or non-fiction, because it confounds the distinction) with the long backward arch of Romantic poetry. You can no more argue with Sebald's The Rings of Saturn than you can with Wordsworth's Prelude or - if you want to change the game a little - with T.S. Eliot's Four Quartets  and Rilke's Duino Elegies."  (Peter Craven, "Appointment with the sublime", Australian Literary Review, The Australian)

Prima facie, what we have here is a species of literary name-dropping, which was something I did suggest Craven did a lot of, along with (a) invoking High Art as a quasi-metaphysical value, (b) theatrically purporting to explain himself without explaining anything, (c) coining bizarre metaphors (d) badly imitating the earthy side of Robert Hughes and (e) referring to God for rhetorical effect. In a more rigorous survey of Mr Craven's prose-style though, the superfine comparisons and general analogy-mongering, I can see now, would belong in a different category to the vulgar "met Charlotte and Cate for lunch"-style shop-talk.

The reason why material like the ghastly Rothwell review belongs in a category of its own will be obvious to anyone who's ever opened the arts pages of an Australian newspaper looking for a critical interpretation whose basic line of thought he can follow: all the huff and puff about great writers in Craven's reviews endlessly defers the point where he has to justify his responses, as opposed to giving his readers unargued demonstrations of his own overwhelming knowledgeability. Yes, the tone is so snobbish it's ridiculous, based as it is on the premiss that normal readers of the The Australian could mentally reference the nuances contained in a library-worth of books with the ease that Craven appears to be able to do so. But much more important than that is the fact that writing like Craven's bears very little thinking about. Read it and imagine yourself putting the question to Mr C "How would you actually flesh out that grand-sounding analogy between St Paul and Montaigne, Nicholas Rothwell and Milton, Mahler and Cormac McCarthy, Kodi Smit-Macphee and the patriarch Abraham etc etc etc?" What could Craven possibly say? All I can imagine is a sort of authoritative pre-discursive groan, signifying something like "CAN'T YOU SEE I'M VERY CULTURED! (Get you gone.)"

However, bad writing created by a desire to seem massively well-read is maybe only part of Craven's problem. The other half of the problem is the result of a bad mental habit and here again more needs to be said about how Craven gets himself into it. My sense is this. For Craven, the basic game of reviewing is to indicate in a roundabout way what the aesthetic experience of a book or a film reminds him of, which turns out to be another aesthetic experience. The reviews then spend much of their time joining the dots between these singular points of personal aesthetic experience without communicating the least part of the content of that experience to the reader.

Another grave problem for Craven that I didn't mention in the Pseuds Special Edition are all those sentences choking on linguistic fetish-items: the "rich and strange" stock-phrases that read like the first things that enter Mr C's mind rather than fully-formed subject-plus-predicate-style thoughts about the matter at hand. When Craven is at his worst, the bold metaphors simply get thrown together to create a sort of chaotic high-toned poetry:

"In that respect, as in others, McCarthy is the heir of Hemingway, with a thundering command of action that enthrals, though his cadences are stately and artful and the feeling that runs through his books encompasses the pity and the terror and the tears in things. You begin reading All the Pretty Horses, which opens his Border Trilogy, thinking that you are experiencing the Platonic idea of escapist writing because you are enjoying a cowboy book for the first time since you were ten only to discover that this is no reanimation of the delights of childhood. It is a [sic] Kindertotenlieder. . .

From the outset, the film [of McCarthy's The Road] skilfully establishes the moral gravity that underlines the horror-style narrative momentum. The father's narration tells us that if God's voice does not come through the child, then he never spoke a word. And so it goes as father and son move over the bleached and devastated landscapes of some rural Pennsylvania or Oregon of the mind, some Montana that may be coterminous with a world where men rove like wolves."("Baby Dante and Apocalypse" ABR) [my italics. Ed]

What is basically at issue in McCarthy as a novellist and in the film versions of The Road in particular? What are the basic themes here? Isn't that the simplest question that the reader of a review might expect to get an answer to? Can Mr C answer it? Well, he can run through the plot of The Road, throwing in semantically unmotivated references to Platonic ideas, "literary high-jinks", the "tears of being", a "Montana of the mind", seeing various things through a glass darkly, "all that is red and tooth in claw" - oh and "the ineffable" (which he proceeds to say an eff'ing lot about).

But how does McCarthy's novel actually work? How does McCarthy's literary apocalyptic or Hillcoat's film version of it relate to the reality of our present world or that of the future? Admittedly these aren't the most sophisticated literary critical questions. But if as a reviewer you can't even give a vague sense of an answer, your review just doesn't belong on the arts pages of a broadsheet newspaper. The trouble with Mr C as a reviewer is that he rarely answers any of these sorts of entry-level questions about structure or significance and the constipated prose-style is part of the reason why: Craven habitually spends so much of his time in most of his reviews chewing and re-chewing the same pet phrases that he fails to give a critical impression of a book or get across a coherent line of thought about it.

If we were just talking about a literary tic that we had to ignore in order to get to the analysis, interpretation and evaluation that form the essence of any really substantial criticism then maybe it'd all be worth it. But in Craven's case, the reviews seem to be all tic and no text. On a good day, Craven can indicate, in a roundabout way (roughly as he does in his response to Q and A) whether he thinks something is good or bad, pointless or worthy: the evaluative bit. But most of the time, he's so busy tweaking silly phrases that analysis, interpretation and evaluation are nowhere in sight.

*

Six months ago, Gideon Haigh sparked medium-level controversy in the literary world by suggesting that Australian criticism is nowadays light-on and uninspired. Book reviews in particular, according to Haigh, are increasingly being farmed out to general staff writers who, in the absence of special knowledge, drown the reader in vague impressions and almost never venture strong-minded critical opinions. Yet while it's true nowadays that Australian literary editors seem to have a preference for favourable reviews, especially of local fare, there's a double-edge to this particular sword and I'm guessing Haigh is aware of it. The trouble is that there's something far worse than reviewers giving everyone who managed to get into print an encouragement award. And that's reviewers giving what they don't like an unargued critical caning.

"Bestial metaphor abounds in Shakespeare's tale of sexual jealousy. Director Peter King takes his cue from it, entering the jungle of physical theatre to deliver a production canopied by a writhing tableau of carnal play. . . [Annie] Last's Desdemona carved out an unlikely wedge of dignity for herself. King's work, as he puts it, ''continues to disdain naturalism, whatever that may be''. - It's the kind of statement that makes naturalism seem like pornography: you can't describe it, but you know it when you see it. - In fact, Shakespeare is both naturalistic and not. To the extent that the burgeoning sensuality of King's conception accentuates the trauma at the heart of Othello, it's fair enough. - But this production seems more interested in playing with itself than to the audience, and some of its rude tricks seem to be compensating for a lack of technique." (Cameron Woodhead reviews "Othello" at fortyfivedownstairs, The Age)

Ignore the wretched word painting. (Anyone up for a ticket to a production "canopied by a writhing tableau of carnal play"?!) There's another thing that Craven and his protégés are very good at. And that is filling out reviews with casual put downs. Take the pointless sneer from Mr C himself at the end of this paragraph:

"With the passage of the years Waiting for Godot has come to seem less like a shocking paradigm of absurdity and more like the deep sad comedy of a continuing condition (call it human if you must). As with Eliot’s Waste Land, the brilliance of the comic surface has almost outlived the existential insecurity it is shaping. - Sean Mathias’s quietly brilliant production takes this fact as its opportunity by constantly emphasising the mature human face of the grinding rituals through which his two ageing tramps wait and wander (wittily and witlessly) as Godot puts them through their paces in his failure to come. McKellen and Rees, in contrasted ways, have the rueful stoicism of age, and their comic embrace of catastrophe — McKellen’s boggle-eyed and flailing, Rees’s dapper and wincing — is light years from the contorted angst of young actors with the world before them as an enigmatic agony." (Peter Craven reviews Sean Mathias' "Waiting for Godot", The Spectator)

Off we go again. The stars of Craven's literary canon twinkle brightly. In the foreground phrases get made, phrases get murdered, the storehouses of the English language are laid waste in the search for a maximally colourful figure of speech or an intermediate term in a world-historical literary analogy. The Craven caning that comes at the end of the paragraph is a model of how not to proceed as an intellectually responsible critic: spend most of your time cueing your readers as to how well-read you are, denigrate your critical object by rhetorically screwing up your face - never put it in a context in which its failings become comprehensible from a broader point of view.

The vague swipes are more than faintly insulting to artists and readers alike. And perhaps the only excuse Australian arts editors have for filling out review pages with tepid positivity is to avoid the negative consequences of badly-written reviews that attitudinise instead of arguing in just this style. Tepid critical praise for every work has one advantage over nasty pseudery. It avoids everyone involved in the arts, including your newspaper's dwindling readership, from feeling justifiably offended. 

*

Now, there are people in the Australian arts world who are willing to call Craven on his sloppy intellectual habits and the poor standard of his writing. From memory, Gideon Haigh didn't single out Mr C for special treatment at Readings six months ago. Alison Croggon by contrast has been consistently willing to do so, for instance in this hard-hitting reply to Craven.

For the sake of background, here's a moderately pseudish snippet from the comment-piece by Mr C that got on Croggon's nerves:

"Naturalism and disruptive high jinks: the theatre needs both. Yes, we need a writer's theatre that is also an actor's theatre, where the director serves the text and highlights — and disciplines — the strength of the actor. We need Rush and Steve Sewell and a director such as Kate Cherry, who can quietly find the music in a Hannie Rayson play. Maybe in the end we need it more than the declamatory atonal music of Andrews and Kosky. - Half the trouble with Australian theatre is caused by talented directors who feel they are above realism and well-made plays. Often they cut their teeth with student theatre and have been too narcissistic to grow up. It's much easier to treat student actors like puppets and to improvise a text than it is to treat Judy Davis like that. Most cut-and-paste postmodern tinkerings with classics make Joanna Murray-Smith look like Racine on a good day. But for every production such as Osage, there's hand-me-down cardboard rubbish of the traditional kind. - We want the best actors commanding the respect of directors who will allow the best of our playwrights to take their places alongside the Pirandellos and Greeks. A theatre which is ancient and modern, classic and cutting-edge, Australian and internationalist, with a deep instinctive sense that to make it new, you have to have a theatrical eye for the glitter of the old. Where is naturalism in all this? Well, we need a theatre that has emotional truth, and we need a theatre that understands the magic of its own artifice." ("The trouble with Australian theatre", The National Times)

As ever, the main argument gets lost in the muddy swirl of tenuous comparisons. It shouldn't take a paragraph with fifteen proper names to tell us that in Mr C's opinion Australian theatre needs to strike a balance between naturalism and experimental disruption. However, without a definition of his main terms (naturalism//"disruptive high jinks", mainstream vs experimental theatre, emotional truth vs deconstruction of traditions), even that relatively simple point evaporates into thin air. The run-through of recent productions by major Australian theatre companies in the rest of the piece contains plenty of examples that seem to fall on both sides of the apparent divide between naturalism and "disruptive high jinks", so you fast end up wondering what the complaint that there's too much "disruption" really amounts to.

Croggon's point is essentially the one about definitions and it's very well taken: surely no one who had thought a little about the term "mainstream theatre" would be silly enough to claim that most mainstream products are particularly "naturalistic", or that the popularity of mainstream shows follows from any notable adherence to "naturalism". In short, Craven - to the extent that he is arguing anything at all - is re-hashing an age-old debate between naturalism and its opponents - a debate which any sophisticated critic ought to know is completely unresolvable when framed in these simplistic terms. For anyone who didn't do Aesthetics 101, let it be said that in the Nineteenth Century, the advocates of aesthetic naturalism extolled naturalism as an escape from arbitrary stylisation, while the advocates of aesthetic anti-naturalism condemned it as a step backwards from the reality-sublimating and reality-subverting functions of art itself. Anyone with a rough grasp of the history of criticism can see that insisting on a "theatre of emotional truth", as Craven does, loads the dice against art which doesn't take truth or emotion as the measure of aesthetic significance. More than that, arguing for naturalism in this simple-minded way overlooks the relatively obvious point that naturalism is itself a form of artifice - one which in some circumstances becomes less than fully aware of itself and under the conditions of mass cultural spectacle often leads to nothing but the repetition of emotional cliche's and psychological stereotypes.

In any case, the sort of ideal Australian theatre that Craven manages to build out of his insistence on "emotional truth" is so vague as to be largely meaningless. A theatre with a "deep instinctive sense that to make it new you have to keep an eye on the glitter of the old"? A theatre that "understands the magic of its own artifice"? What on earth would that amount to specifically? I suppose here at least we can be glad that Craven's pseudo-ideal is captured in a sentence with a beginning that relates to its middle and end according to a principle other than literary free association. Still if the actual content of the ideal would make a meaningful difference to theatre programming or theatrical practice, then Craven leaves us clueless how.

If I had to guess what Mr C is trying to say at this point - it's that he wants to be emotionally moved when he goes to the theatre - that Great Art is deeply moving and so could be truly popular if it weren't being screwed up by "narcissistic" avant-gardists. Let's take it that that's what Craven would be saying if he weren't beating about the bush. Let's also take it that Mr C's desire to be moved by the theatre is basically irrelevant until it's raised from the level of a personal hankering and made part of some sort of meaningful critical discourse about the place of emotion in our responses to theatre. What of the idea that Great Art could potentially wow the masses - if not quite with the success of Mary Poppins - because of the way it invests spectacle with grand pathos? This is obviously the topic that's hidden behind the crotchety debate about Arts Festival programming. However, it's a topic that needs the attention of someone who's prepared to argue in a sustained way about the relation between art and wider society - a true critic, in other words - not a drunken phrase-maker with a license to kill.

There's no doubt that the position of art in society is changing radically in today's world; high culture in particular is fast turning into a kind of niche product and in the process fast ceasing to be what it was until recently - a much more coherent medium of enjoyment and self-understanding for educated people who saw themselves as setting the cultural tone of society. With high culture, and indeed art in general, transformed into a cultural commodity, a lot of arts journalism exists - in spite of whatever good intentions its authors might have - to spuriously glamourise the product. And this is what Craven, in refusing to communicate intelligibly about art, becomes the ever more tireless, tiresome producer of: bizarre glamorisations of an aesthetic tradition that has come into almost entirely new relations to the society it used to be so central to.  

The deeper reason why Mr Craven can't write starts to become clear: because the great - and admirable - high-mindedness he wants to bring to the role of the arts writer becomes ridiculous when it comes into combination with the Arts Industry as it exists in the present day and age, with its anti-critical and an-aesthetic imperatives: maintaining an artistic star-system, depositing small references to the arts in as many places as possible, bringing the occasional controversy to the boil and artificially maintaining that aura of sublimity we all know art loses when it is rigorously subjected to the logic of sales-volumes and bums-on-seats.

Question: What happens when the imperative to glamourize the artistic product becomes the practical-social driver of your activity as a writer about art? Well, unless you drop the pretence of great critical grandeur, then at the very least the strain starts to show: above all, your language goes on an extended holiday - a round-the-world cruise maybe, on which adverbs go fly kites of their own, assonance runs riot, half of what you say sounds like it comes from a tourist brochure or a real estate catalogue and everything smells heavily of alcohol and sex:

"The novel pulsates with the portent and momentum of revelations Tranter either foreshadows to the point of obviousness or keeps putting further and more far-fetchedly [sic] out of reach. This makes the book's endless foreplay between its thriller elements and its loftily conceived moral dramas and soaring [sic] realism a little bit of a tease. But The Legacy retains a lot of magic along with its roughness. Full of suave and stunning [sic] evocations of Sydney and Manhattan, this sparkling and spacious [sic] novel captures the smell and sap [sic] of young people half in love with everyone they're vividly aware of, and groping to find themselves [sic] like the answer to an erotic enigma." (Peter Craven reviews Kirsten Tranter, The Monthly)

Oh dear. Let's hope there's an editor out there who still has the courage to call this stray ship back to port. The captain's drunk and is doing weird stuff on the bridge. The whole thing's totally sic!